for you, my love

a little poem about death and the grave affects it has on each individual.

                I took my last breath

The same minute you took yours.

I gasped for air,

When there was no air left for you.

I bathed myself in lavender and honey to clean and soothe my soul.

I burned sage throughout my entire house,

Crying out for you.

I did all that was suggested to mourn - all to adequately grieve like the average person.

But nothing I did brought you back to me.

Nothing brought you back to Earth.

Nothing I did helped me feel any better -

And maybe that’s selfish of me to have thought I would ever feel complete without you.

8 years since I received the phone call that altered life forever.

8 years since I died,

8 years since you died.

My soul - a part of yours,

And you - you were my entirety that kept my seams stitched even though I was constantly on the verge of unraveling.

8 years of attempting to recover from trauma;

Attempts of happiness,

Attempts of eating well, and not touching a mind-altering substance to numb the pain.

As time grows,

The antagonizing pain fades.

Time heals all wounds,

But what happens when the stitches keep tearing apart and I intentionally pour salt into the open wounds?

There are times I can go days without thinking your name,

Months without a single tear shed,

However,

Once the first tear rolls down my face and I taste the saltiness,

I can’t stop until my eyes have fallen so heavy they cannot open anymore.

8 years and my birthday wish will remain the same -

I wish you were here.

I live because you weren’t given the opportunity to live the rest of your life.

I live for you to see a better tomorrow,

I live and breathe for you.

Reviews

[Bryad Polis Valentino]

God you would have to bring me to tears. I saw this poem and refused to not read it. Just so you know, they didn't die in vain. I am a psychopomp, I won't lie. I'm sure they'd want you to know they survived and are okay, dancing I'm the fields of Elysium.

When a few of my friends died (Jen and Katie, as well as my sister, Jonna.) I refused to accept the truth, that they are stronger than death. I know they are, but we should not forsake what we have in life. I am god-awful sorry and l wish your pain could be given to me, as I can be your Atlas, by choice, wishing for whatever breaks your heart to break mine, too.

[maddy trudel]

wow thank you so much! this means so much to me!

[Bryad Polis Valentino]

I meant every word. Don't give up hope. I know Jen would have wanted me to be happy. Your lost friend is your guardian angel and you know it.

[maddy trudel]

That's 100% true they want us to be happy💙💙

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

This is beautiful well done I can’t express what this means to me and I’m very sorry for your loss I’ve lost people too it’s not easy is it life and dying is a mystery to us well done love it 🥰

[maddy trudel]

Thank you so much!! This means so much to me !