a prodigal

a prodigal is a personal poem about me finding my identity in Christ

it became overwhelming.

it all crashed down and all at once the atmosphere was so compelling

i was in a place full of confusion, doubt, and distance from every human form

even the one whom created me, 

He was only a whisper away but i was blown away onto a desolate platform

this desolate windstorm became my box in this time of hiding

i felt alone but looking around me i only recognized the darkness.

it was all i could see because my eyes were blinded by the shade that sheltered me

i was so scared and felt darkness in every sqaure inch beside me

happiness now became a faraway wanna-be

my emotions were steady and tranquil, i was comfortable in my despair

my eyes became open and i now realized this was spiritual warfare

the enemy had blinded me and i was lied too and deceived

but now the love of God had intervened

the enemy did not come as a devil to me but he came in everything i thought i wanted,

in everything i thought would make me enlightened

but now, HE is frightened

this was nothing more than a hazy lie that had been planned to cause me to stumble on rocks that my creator had already overcome

i took these lies and traded them for truth, they now were nothing more than depositable income

the struggles were real, but the love of God was now revealed.

 the mountains i have carried i was only supposed to be climbing

when i was comfortable in my sin, i was only reclining -

but now Jesus was refining

He called me home and chased me down with furious love

i was met face to face with purpose

my devotion to God was no longer just lip service

my first love was awakened and i no longer felt forsaken

He called me His and He told me that He loved me before i even knew His name

He told me that He loved me and died for me knowing there's a chance i may never love Him back.

That there are no strings attatched

I was wrecked, beautfully wrecked now

No words, no waters could quench this love - 

this love that i am so undeserving of.

with the patience of my faithful Father,

i found my identity as His daughter

I was home.