thrive

thrive is a spoken word poem i wrote due to a suicide that had affected many people

Can you actually ever live life to the fullest? Or is it a simple idea that’s overrated yet longing to be fulfilled? It’s a simple daze yet a heavy phase of wanting something more and being apart of something bigger but remembering that in the end, we’re all just people. The thought of death seems so far to us - yet it’s literally right in front of us: or even around some of us. Binding up our neck, leaving us gasping for broken air. Air that’s been polluted, that’s had words spit out full of every emotion, air that we all share yet somehow it’s hated among us. Death either being a desire or the biggest fear of the universe. It’s true though, how one minute you believe that you’re so happy and so far from this reality of death, yet the next minute you want to die. And you don’t become scared of it, you do desire it, and so much… so much of you wants to get closer to this fear you aren’t really fearful of in that moment, or at least you think you aren’t. You want words to flow but in reality what ever does? It’s choppy like the sea, these words i have drawn on paper with ink. But it’s more than that. You see, the sea can look all choppy on the surface but if you sink deeper you may find the cool and smooth sensation you’ve been longing for. Maybe that’s what people want in life but they’re too afraid to reach for it since it’s so deep. And the deepness, it’s like a ship sunken in the sea. And you’re trapped inside of it. You’re breathing but gasping. It’s a sunken treasure - the outside of the ship, it’s rusted - it’s not real, it feels nothing.

What we desire.

But on the inside, there you are and nobody knows. You’re lost at sea. But little do you know that the sea is your life. And you’re lost in it. We long for a lighthouse or something to shine through a broken window, but no matter how many times we try it’s still a repetitive feeling of not being satisfied. It’s the most puzzling feeling - like being lost and having to repair your broken pieces with tools that are no longer used but have one purpose.

To destroy.

If we find what we thought we had lost, how clearly can it be to clearly see the guilt and shame we’ve been hiding. Out in the open. Climbing onto floating barriers in the midst of our own disturbed thoughts but only realizing that those things sink us. We’re longing for a lighthouse - Something, but little do we know that that thing is not a ‘thing’ at all. It’s a man who died. He drowned for you already, beloved. How can we scream with our lungs drying out when your savior’s blood has been poured out? If you were and still are worth dying for then what’s the point of wanting death when it was already spent on you? You are important. So now this changes things. Your broken windows and empty voids have been forgiven and repaired. But now the love of Jesus Christ has broken through. He revives, refines, and shocks us back into reality. But now this reality is even more real than what we’ve ever seen. Our eyes are new - your face is glowing. Your life and heart is full of passion - and that’s how he made you.

Joy begins to break through.

And the thought of death is so little now because purpose has washed over you. The deepness in the sea that you’ve longed to reach has been drained out as your life is made new. The false lies and attacks of demons seem so faint since this new love has broken through. The stinging waves of nostalgia are like a ringing alarm and the snooze button is nothing more than a faint whisper now. What you have no is a remnant -  a remnant of remembrance of a death that saved the world - it was a light. Because light always overcomes darkness, and darkness is only the absence of light. So sure, you can live life to the fullest but it’s so much more than that. It’s thriving with an abundance of hope and joy knowing that you were handpicked before time to do good works and change the world.

Yes, death may be a participle of life - but life, life is a journey, and if you can find that light in the midst of your sea -

You’ve found life.