Optimistic trees

Optimistic tress 
sitting hoping
for their  
leaves.

They cry 
they try 
they ask
why why!?

When?
who? 
will make 
their dreams 
come true? 

The children 
dance and play 
there lyrical 
foot steps past 
their way.

They sing 
they cry 
they try 
they try
.
Try to fit in 
try to sit in 
try to listen

To their peers
that fill them 
with fears 

They cry 
eye's bleeding 
with tears.

Because fitting 
in here is 
just to weird

So they 
go to the 
trees praying 
for their leaves 

Wiping the 
tears on their
sleeves
the branches start to bleed 

Oh god wishing 
winter would 
flee.

For these 
hopeful souls
and optimistic 
trees.

A place to 
fit in is 
all they need 

Author's Note

this is the first poem i wrote i was truly proud of . i'm open to criticism so please be as bluntly honesty as you wish. but i am 14 so nothing to harsh please

Reviews

[Matt Millsaps]

Keeping in mind you are 14, this is fantastic! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, and will definitely be checking back for more. My only negative comment is that I noticed on your 11th stanza, (Line 33) you typed whipping, as in the act of using a whip. However, i believe you were looking for wiping, as in to wipe something away (such as tears). Other than that single grammar error, you are golden!

[Maddy Jane]

Thank you so much i'm vary happy to know that you enjoyed it. and i have fixed the errors. An i should have more up soon (: thank you again !

[Just Kim]

Simply amazing!!
I like this write. Nicely done
Keep writing always : )

[Maddy Jane]

thanks (: i'm happy you enjoyed it .

[ALaceWonder]

This was fantastic, and I really enjoyed reading it!

[Maddy Jane]

thank you so much i'm happy you enjoyed reading it (:

[Ori]

It's good. It reminds me of some of my writing at your age.
My suggestion would be to check your spelling. Nothing is spelled wrong but you aren't using the right form of a word in a few places.

Optimistic tress
sitting hoping
for there their is the correct spelling here.
leaves.

When?
who?
will make
there dreams their
come true?

The children
dance and play
there lyrical their
foot steps past
their way.


Because fitting
in here is
just to weird use too here instead of to.


Whipping the Should be wiping, I think? Not the action one does with a whip.
tears on their
sleeves


A few typo corrections and you should be good to go.
:)

[Maddy Jane]

thank you vary much (: i happy to know you enjoyed it . and i have fixed the errors (: