Mother Goose Bullies the Wrong Snail

Based directly off a Mother Goose rhyme, our lady is rude to the King Snail.

A dark wood surrounded by thick foliage. We see a hunched woman and a snail. Some light gets in through the trees.

 

Mother Goose: Snail, Snail,
                         Come out of your hole,
                         Or else I'll beat you black as a coal.
                         Snail, Snail,
                         Put out your head,
                         Or else I'll beat you till you're dead.

 

Snail (aside): That worthless winch,

                      An annoying finch!

                      She dare threaten me?

                      Oh ho ho, we shall see!

 

Snail: Fair maiden, I cannot hear you from far away.

          Come closer and repeat what you’ve come to say.

 

Mother Goose: You deaf old slug!
                         Fine, fine. I’ll bring close my mug

                         And repeat what I have to say,

                         But let me remind you I don’t have all day!
                         Snail, Snail,
                         Come out of your hole,
                         Or else I'll beat you black as a coal.
                         Snail, Snail,
                         Put out your head,
                         Or else I'll beat you till you're dead.

 

Snail: Let me see if I have this correct.

          If I err, please do interject.

          “Nail, nail,

          Roam for bole,

          Or else I meet you rack a boal?
          Fail, fail,

        Give me some lead,

       Or else I’ll eat your med?”

       Please don’t eat my med,

       My lady, they help my head!

 

Mother Goose: You rogue snail,

                         Say you listen? You fail!
                         Stick out your head,

                         Or else I’ll squash you dead!

Snail: I apologize again

          For this deafness is a sin!
          Lean in towards I,

          Or else I will defy.

 

(Mother Goose  has her face touching the shell of the snail.)

Mother Goose: Fine, once more,

                         But you best listen, I implore!

                         Snail, Snail,
                         Come out of your hole,
                         Or else I'll beat you black as a coal.
                         Snail, Snail,
                         Put out your head,
                        Or else I'll beat you till you're dead.

 

(Snail makes a noise unheard by Mother Goose. Snails reply and stand behind the crouched woman. He pulls himself out of his shell)

 

Snail: Oh, I see.

           You’ve come to threaten little ol’ me?
            You filthy w***e,

            Your rudeness I abhor!
            I’ll make you pay

            For the rudeness you say!

 

(Snails behind Mother Goose swiftly come towards her, climb all over her. A look of horror lines her face.)

Mother Goose: What is this?

                         (Stands up)

                         Oh, villain , you should hiss!
                         Get your fiends of me,

                         Or else I’ll poke your eye!

 

Snail: Hee hee hee.

You still speak that way to me?
Hardy har har,

You won’t get very far!

My loyal legion,

Make her pay for her treason!

 

Mother Goose: No, no! Please!
                         I’ll repent, pay all my fees!

                         Let me leave here

                         Without a shed tear!
                         

Snail: Oh, it’s too late for that,

            My men have permission to devour your fat.

            If you would have left me,

            A happy woman would you be!
            A hee hee hee!

(King snail turns away and clanks his eyes together. The other snails receive the signal and begin to eat Mother Goose. She screams, but can’t rid her self of the snails. King snail slides into the sunset.)

 

Fin. <3

Author's Note

Let that be a lesson for you, children. Do not be mean to snails! I feel quite silly today. (The repeated rhyme is genuinely a Goose rhyme)

Reviews

[Cam]

Hmm.

Very Interesting, off-topic : I use to love popping in my old Mother Goose tales videos. But yea, never seen one quite like this haha, Interesting it is.