Halloween Costume Deciding

While deciding with my friend what we'll dress up as this year, I discover something horrifying.

 

            I love Halloween. It is my favorite day of the year, like many individuals everywhere. Alas, though I love it so, I have one problem with it. As a female, there’s a certain degree of sex appeal we emit during regular life. It seems, (or so I’ve discovered recently), that Halloween is the one day of the year that females can dress like s***s without getting lynched by an angry mob of their peers, displaying their sexuality in its totality. That’s great. If that’s what you enjoy, I applaud you.

Every October 31^st I opt to be something terribly frightening. This is what I enjoy, and I didn’t know their was anything wrong with that until recently. My female friend wants to ‘dress up’ together in disguises that adhere to similar themes. I have no problem with this, except her and I are like night and day. While browsing the costume catalogue we could look at online, she immediately went to the female section of costumes. When my eyes fell upon the screen, I was horrified!
            All of the costumes began with ‘sexy,’ ‘naughty,’ or ‘hot’, and the complete lack of a ‘scary costumes’ section led me to believe there was some sort of mistake. Frantically, I told my friend to quickly switch over to the men’s costume section. To my horror, there, in front of my eyes, was not only a ‘scary costume’ section but also a ‘God’ section! I was furious! Why can’t I be a God? Why can’t I be a flesh-eating zombie minus the ‘sexy’ and pelvic thrusts?

I quickly asked my friend ‘why,’ and she replied calmly. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘normal girls want to be cute or sexy things on Halloween…’

‘What? That’s retarded!’

‘It’s not retarded; I want to be something sexy this Halloween too.’

‘Fine, but I want to be a God!’

‘Well, you can be Aphrodite…’

‘I don’t want to be f*****g Aphrodite! Why can’t I be an awesome God like Thor?’

‘Who’s Thor?’

I sighed, exasperated, and clicked on the scary costume section for me. I found something lovely, if I do say so my self. It jumped out to me, immediately. Freddy. It took me less than one minute to decide I would be that, and now the real laborious work would begin. My female friend needed to choose her costume, now. She went to the ‘sexy something or another’ section, and released odd “ooh’s” and “cute’s” into the atmosphere. I sat, cradling my pounding head, as she pointed out the supposedly frightful costumes for females. There was nothing frightening about them, except maybe that if the person who dawned the costume bent over, she’d get a hell of a lot more than a breeze if you know what I mean.

            My friend’s costume choosing was over an hour or so later, and we decided to go with a somewhat S&M Freddy and his victim theme. Before we could exit the website, though, something caught my eye. A female Freddy costume.

‘Scroll down! Scroll down!’ I screamed, frantically.

What I saw nauseated me… Freddy in a skirt.

‘No!’ I moaned. ‘How could they?’

My friend looked at me as if I was having a seizure and chose to ignore my comments.

‘So, we’re you going to be the female version of Freddy or the male?’

‘Male!’ I replied shortly. ‘Freddy can’t be in a skirt.’

She let out a sigh and closed the computer.

‘Halloween is a sexist holiday,’ I said to no one in particular. ‘Not only do they only offer male God costumes, but the complete lack of horrifying female costumes is ridiculous!’

‘That’s not sexist,’ my friend replied as she changed the channel on the television, ‘It’s what normal people want.’

 

Author's Note

heh, just me talking. Literature/writing wise, it's immune to the rules since I don't consider it serious writing for me.

Reviews

[Lynx]

xD I personally prefer the less accessorised versions of costumes, I mean like excluding masks and such. But I do agree with the whole "Halloween is a sexist holiday" thing. And, it is seriously unfair, xD