Nerdy girl

This a story of getting laughed at, for putting myself out there, and the start of bad days

 I walk into math class, and kids are moving seats. I instantly get nervous because I don’t want to get into an argument with a kid over my seat. So I quickly get to my seat and sit down i calm down, but when I just start to relax. This cute girl sits next me and my heart skips a beat I forgot where I was, it just felt like it was me and her. Now I haven’t said two words to this girl, but she already had my heart.

 I can’t remember what I said to her, but somehow my dumbass got her number. Now what was running though my head was a lot different then what was running in her head. I was so excited that I couldn’t stop thinking about her, then I go to text her and I find out that she thinks I need help with math, and she was going to help me. Now I start getting in my head that I’m doing something wrong. I asked for advice, start second guessing myself. I really started hating myself, the things that make me unique.

 The next day I’m nervous to head into class, but everything goes good, but I learn that her tall ugly friend is making fun of me for it. Which just makes me hate myself even more. Those days were the start of a deep depression, I felt lost. I had no idea who I was,  I had nothing to hang my hat on and I soon felt like everyone hated me, with some days wishing a kid would come into our school with a gun and shoot me in the back of my head, all the pain I had felt from the last couple of years would no longer be there, and I would have is the sweet relief of death. I think the only thing that kept me from doing it myself is the will of not wanting to be forgotten.