Chapter 1

“In the beginning there was nothing. Now there are too many people not enough food. Not enough water. Once there were rainforest but now where they used to be stand malls and parking lots. Condos and great big towers dedicated to big business. We live in a world now where it is cloudy every day because of pollution. No one can even remember what grass used to look like because it’s gone. We don’t eat meat anymore, it’s all some soy product manufactured by corporations. Conglomerates rule are lives now. No more choices to be made anymore. We have life coaches and decision makers that we hire to do it for us. We are all becoming less than human. We are becoming something terrible and once we use up this planet, once we have the ability to reach other places like Earth, we are going to destroy everything. The human race will do anything to survive and maintain its way of life. Adapt or die.”
“These were the mysterious words heard today on several radio and television broadcast today. The source is unknown but we have been told by our source at Kilo Corp that the suspect will be found and charges will be filed. That is the news for now. Be sure to tune into the 10 o clock broadcast. I’m Tracey Weir with Channel 17 News.”

“It’s a dangerous game you’re playing. What if they traced the signal back here?” The man was furious, he could tell because Henry always paced when he was angry. “Relax. You’re going to put a hole in the floor pacing like that.” Henry stopped pacing and reply, “You are really something else you know that, Nathan.” Nathan smiled and nodded, “I know”

Gregory Stahl was the Head of Security for Kilo Corp. He was a tall, slender man in his mid 30s. Gregory enjoys jazz music, red wine, and prefers brunettes over blondes. He loves his job. He loves Kilo Corp and he’ll do whatever it takes to keep his way of life no matter what happened.

Nathan Pilgrim sat in the hideout alone and in the dark. He knew he’d so have to face Kilo Corp or Freedom Industries. He knew Henry was worried as was everyone else but Nathan knew that what they were doing was the right thing to do. Five years ago this corporate hell had cost him his family and now he’d whatever it takes to make them pay.

 

 

 

“What the hell are you going to do about this Stahl?” bellowed Mr. Mercury, Kilo Corp’s vice president, “we want to know who this is and we want them eliminated. Do you understand me Greg?”

“Of course I do sir. I will have something for you by the end of the day.”

“You better have something Greg or you had better find another job!”

Gregory Stahl began to worry that he might need a new job.

Reviews

[Cherrie Palmer]

Your first chapter is alittle to short, it makes you ask to many question all at once. You might try adding a prologue to give a little background, or maybe a diary entry to set the stage and create some interest, or just ad a few more details to the 1st chapter. A good chapter makes you ask questions, but niot so many that you might loose interest.
I did like this beginning I'd like to see just a little more :)

[talulu love]

its good so far but short