When You Stay Strong for Too Long

I’ve recently been having all these terrifying dreams,
Trying to throw all my pain into bulging seams.
I want to let it out to you, to him,
But I end up just burying in underneath my skin.
I know acceptance is the answer to all my problems.
See, denial has its hold on me and all my pain,
And I’m begging for my mind to just do away with me.
I’m searching my head, looking for a loophole.
I’ve never been very good at explaining what is going on.
The words always sound better in my head than from my mouth,
And when I listen all the doubt refuses to flood south.
What a sticky situation I’ve been trapped in.
Why can’t I just find the courage to tear the pain and humiliation from underneath my skin,
And crush it to little pieces and make it swear to never crawl back once again?
Denial is such a funny thing,
And so is fear.
I don’t understand what I’m exactly afraid of,
But it’s pulling out more tears.
All this fear and pain is getting overcrowded.
If I don’t find a solution soon,
My vision and my sanity is going to become very clouded.
I can fight it, I swear, but patience is a virtue.
And time can only heal the pain I sealed away so safely.
I know deep down in my heart the whole truth.
I’m relying on the pain and that is something I’m even more ashamed to do.

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