A memory

I was wearing white. It was a summer dress and it cut off a little above my knees. I had a sun-kissed tan, and I was wearing my Guess sunglasses. My dress had an intricate pattern of flowers at the bottom, and it fit my body snug. It was perfect for the weather outside, it was warm, and it was sunny. I was with you. I was with them. We were together. But we were just friends. I remember your smile, and how it lit up the room. If it hadn't been for Ariel I would not be at this party. I knew no one, except you and a few others. Tanner was there, but he was love-struck for Laura. He barely stopped to say hi when I walked in the room, but I made it perfectly fine with Cael. Cael and me talked while you weren't around. I took a sip of my drink, and I watched you joke around with your friends. I smiled and looked down, but I decided I didn't want to make conversation. I looked at Cael and excused myself. I gave one last look at you before heading outside, let me just say Ariel's garden is beautiful, had she not been Greek it might not look as lovely as it was. I sat on cement seat in front of the fountain. I smiled at the water and I leaned over to swirl my hand in soft patterns. I didn't notice you sneak up and talk to me. My heart raced, not of fright, but of pure endorphins. You see chocolate isn't the only thing that releases endorphins. My adrenaline kicked in too, but I gave you a soft smile and you sat down next to me. You told me you liked what I was wearing, and I told you the same about your outfit. You were quite the handsome fellow on that day. You asked me if something was wrong but I told you it was nothing. But there was something wrong, something I could never tell you; " I like you Ashton. If not love you. You see I wear my heart on my sleeve and I just wanted you to know that it happened to fall into your hands. I might be falling for you, or maybe it's just a silly crush. You are special to me though, a friend a friend would like to have. You are sunshine on a cloudy day; for me I don't want that to change because it rarely happens. I don't find many like you';but when I do you're all out of reach. I just wanted to say I have a deep admiration for you. But if that pushes you away I don't want anything to happen. I'd rather be your friend, than nothing to you." Of course I held that inside, and when the party ended many hours later I realized we hadn't danced, one last song, and you took my hand and we danced. It was the sweetest feeling... It ended too soon, but you held me to your chest and we hugged. It was sweet bliss; but I left.

 

Beep. Beep. Beep.The sound of a machine all around Marie. The soft thud in her chest, the sound of the machine; her heart was fading. Out of the people that were there, piling into that hospital room out of all of them there was a face she had not expected to see. If she had ever doubted that he cared for her it was proven now. In that hospital room at the foot of the bed he looked over her. Her fragile body laying half lifeless in that bed. Marie had been shot twice in the chest, one barely missing her heart. Ashton stood at the end of her bed and he looked almost as weak as her. He scratched at his eyes, but she smiled at him. She wanted him to know she was okay. She didn't feel a thing. He saw her smile and moved to the side of her bed and grabbed her hand. She whispered," Ashton, when I leave tonight, I just... I want. I want you to have my journal, it has everything in it. Things you need to know. I'm gonna miss you, but I'm always here." Ashton stared into her hazel eyes, every ounce of passion and life still in them. Her heart rate slowed and Ashton thought of one moment, and he seized it," Marie, I love you." It was the last thing she heard before the machine was a steady ring, and everyone was sobbing. He let go of her hand and let tears fall.

Ashton had went back to Marie's house with her parents. He'd only been there once, but the once sight that was familiar was almost bitter sweet. For it haunted him, but it made him remember her face and the way she laughed. It made him remember her, Marie. Sweet Marie. He went to her room, it was cold, but he grabbed her journal that was laying on her nightstand with a pen on top of it. He looked at her bed, it was made up and sitting on it was her teddy bear. The one she told him she couldn't sleep without. He picked it up and took a breath, inhaling the sweet scent of her. He looked down and from behind him her father said," Take it. I know it meant a lot to her and I know she would have liked you to have it. Ashton nodded, but he felt weakened by this 'gift', he picked up her journal and said goodnight to her parents. He drove home and passed out on his bed, solemn and grim.

A month later.

Things seemed to calm down, no one forgot, there was a memorial at school, the halls sort of haunted him. He still hung out with all of their old friends. Everyone cried once in a while. After the day at school was over he went home. Believe it or not he still hadn't read her journal. It had been sitting on his own nightstand. He picked it up and sat on his bed. He grabbed her teddy bear and sat it in his lap. He opened to the first page and started to read. Everything from her world, everything from her point of you. Up until the tenth page, it was still her point of view but it was adventures, it started to note how much she liked him, or rather what she admired. It went on, but it wasn't odd or creepy. It wasn't like he was the only thing in there, it was her adventures and her everyday life. Her stories and her inside jokes. Every page was something different, and some were about him. The last page made his heart ache, it was what she wanted to tell him. Something she knew she wouldn't because of fear, but she wrote it down word for word. What broke his heart was the fact he could have had her all along. He could have spent more time with her. Instead he tried to wait it out, tried to see any signs of her liking him. What she did might have been subtle, but he had been so blind. Everything she'd done for him was her signs of adoration. She had proved her long all along.