My Beauty

This is my first poem so I don't know how it is :/

When I was little, I was big

When I turned six, I got bigger

When I was in middle school, I was big

When I got to high school I got bigger and

I was mocked and made fun of for the way that I looked

I'm sorry I'm not barbie

I guess I'm just to big for good looks

I'm sorry we can't see my beauty

But I've never wanted to look like barbie

I've never wanted to be skinny

All I've ever wanted to be is pretty but

Society's twisted and messed up views of perfection

Has stopped size 16's like me from getting any credit

I'm sorry we can't see my beauty

I'm tired of looking into mirrors with tears in my eyes

From gripping my fists so tight blood runs into the sink

I'm tired of looking at knives, dreaming of release

Picking it up and only putting it down so my mother won't see

I'm tired of lying to myself every time I say I'm ugly and

I'm tired of the comments form strangers about the size of my body

People assume it's the food that I eat

And ignore the stress put on my be society

I'm sorry you can't see my beauty

I have rolls on my stomach, and fat on my back

I've got fat on my b***s too but 

I've still got one hell of a rack

I have thighs that touch

And arms that jiggle but

A body like this is a temple too

Even though it's a bit bigger

So I will look into mirrors and see MY perfection 

Smile at my own size

Because I can see my own beauty

Author's Note

This is my first poem so any reviews will help. Don't care how harsh or mean :)

Reviews

[SEO]

There is a lot of feeling in this and the topic is so touching, sensitive and I think most people can relate on some level to the ideas you present. I like that you repeat the line "I'm sorry we can't see my beauty" and then change it to you; it's a clever and needed transition. For me, the last two stanzas are the strongest especially the second to last. "I've got fat on my b***s (cut the too) but I've still got one hell of a rack" are really great lines together, punchy.

I think the line about Barbie are not necessary because the use of Barbie as a trope to represent beauty is kind of cliche and played out. Also I would say "I was mocked and fun of for my appearance" or some other alternative because you use "look" several times and it gets repetitive especially when they are near each other and this case of repetition is actually serving the piece as it does when you use "big/bigger."

Also "I'm tired of lying to myself every time I say I'm ugly" is a powerful line. I like the idea that the narrator accuses herself of ugliness ONLY because society expects her too but internally there is a contradiction because she believes in her own beauty. I think you can expand on that more. Overall this is a great first piece you should feel proud! I hope my feedback helped and I hope you keep writing :)

[Madeline]

Thank you Madison! I really liked your feedback and it means a lot you took the time to read my piece. Thank you!