You don't know a woman until you've met her in court.

A Story by Madad ke Haath

Flip-side - An unheard story of a man

Chapter 1

17 October 2008 Friday at 7:30 AM: I woke up little late than my usual time. I had exact 30 minutes to reach my cab pickup point for office. I rushed to my bathroom and took a quick shower. It was already 7:50 AM and I ran without breakfast. My father took his scooter and came to my cab pickup point at exact 7:59AM. He gave me a roll of prantha cooked by my mom in foil paper and told to eat it in the cab. I shouted on my father that why he came in scooter instead of car. I felt bad that my colleagues saw my father driving his scooter and showing our low-profile status. My father replied to me politely that today is your mom’s fast, still she have cooked for you. By that time my cab reached. While eating the prantha I felt that it was wrong on my part to shout on my father. He came all the way to give me food and I treated him bad. I felt sorry for my behavior. While eating I went back to the memory lane. My father did a lot for us, more than we deserve. He gave us more than what he had. Be it a new computer or a bike he always managed to give me by keeping his pocket tight and killing his own desires.

I reached office and saw married women in traditional attire. Then I realized that today was Karva Chauth. Karva Chauth is a one-day festival celebrated by Hindu women in many countries in which married women fast from sunrise to moonrise for the safety and longevity of their husbands.

During lunch the chairs in cafeteria were mostly vacant. I could hardly see any female in the cafeteria. Even few males very following this festival and were on fast to show love to their better half. Few were also forced to keep this fast by their spouse to prove their love. I had my yummy lunch prepared by my mom in morning inspite of in fast herself.

I reached home in the evening and saw my mom in a saree after months. Last time I saw her in this attire in a family function few months back. She was looking beautiful. A newly wedded lady in my neighbor was cribbing and waiting for the moon desperately. Whereas my mom was quiet, busy in her household work and preparing snacks for me and dad.

Finally my neighbor shouted " “Aunty chaand nikal aaya.” My mom, in no hurry, took another ten minutes in completing what she was doing in kitchen before she went out for Pooja carrying thaali and sieve. We all accompanied her. By that time we saw my neighbor going out for dinner with the entire family. I asked my mom " Lets go out for dinner today. My mom replied " Rishab Teri shaadi ho jaaye fir bahu ke saath jaayugi bahar ka khaana khaane aaj ke din.

Chapter 2

I was a happy go lucky chap. We were three siblings in family. My father was a government servant and like any other middle class family we were living happily in Sarojini Nagar Central Govt. quarters.

Being a Delhi chap, most of my relatives were into business and most of my cousins of my age were married with kids. My parents were proud of their children as with his limited income and knowledge they gave us best of the support and we all did quite well in academics. My parents wanted me to be a doctor but I couldn’t crack a free seat. And we were not that rich to take paid seat. But my youngest sister fulfilled my parent’s desire by grabbing a seat in BHMS from top University. I was also working in a MNC in Gurgaon with handsome salary compared to my classmates. One of my sister was happily married in Delhi.

I could see a spark in my father’s eyes on being a successful father and giving us more than he had. That was a time which a happy family always dreamt of. Though, not very strong financially, still we had everything a family requires.

So now the pressure was on me to get married and settled. Many matrimonial proposals were received by friends and relatives. But I was looking for someone special with whom I can spend rest of my life. And with the values and ethics given to me I was always giving preference to intelligence over looks. I rejected many proposals. And as I was in a travelling job, so by the time I come back to Delhi most of the gals selected by my parents were engaged or married even before I could meet her.

There were few girls in my network who were interested, but I was just waiting for the right girl and was in no hurry. 2 years passed and now my parents were little worried as I was approaching 30.

After rejecting and getting rejected by few I finally met a girl from Kanpur through newspaper. Both the families met each other in a common place. She was a teacher in Kanpur and we had a small talk. She looked like a girl next door who was simple and career oriented. She was not one of the most beautiful girl I met for marriage in past, but I found her one of the most simple, intelligent and a girl who would give value to our families and also justice to her career.

We had another round of meeting in next few months and finally the marriage was fixed. Both the families were happy and cherished that moment of our life.

Chapter 3

It was our special day. Finally, I was getting married. We never demanded for any dowry and there was no exchange of Dowry. Just after marriage rituals and ceremony, around 4:00 am: On the first day during vidaayi... my SIL told something to my FIL in his ears. My FIL came and invited me to come to Rakhi Maasi's house on the same day evening for "phera " a ritual to invite husband’s family at in’laws house after the marriage". He asked me to come alone without my father and mother. The reason he told for coming alone was... that my father & Mother must be tired.

Next day, My parents and sister were getting ready as they never knew that Rakhi’s parents have not invited them. Now this was a situation for me on how to tell my parents or ask my newly wedded wife. I took the second approach and asked Rakhi very politely that why were my father & Mother not invited as per rituals? She spoke to her parents and then we got another call to my father and they invited them.

So the intension was very clear on the first day that they wanted us to get separated from my parents.

Same day when we went to their place along with my parents, sisters and jiju. No one in my family knew that they were asked not to come initially and later re-invited on my request.

I saw my SIL making faces on my sister. My sister went to toilet with her dupatta(a long scarf) kept outside the door. My SIL took the dupatta and tried to step on it and made funny faces/signs. She was doing this in front of her Bhabhi (Cousin brother’s wife). Her bhabhi was trying to express in sign language not to do such things. When I came suddenly they stood still. But I saw this with my eyes before they could react to be normal.

On the very first day, Rakhi took a promise from me that I will give her Rs 5000 pm and I agreed. Though I said I will start this from the month of April. As I had done few expenses during my marriage and changed the job just after marriage. So for a month I had to stay without my salary and had to wait for F&F from my previous company. My salary was also due from my current employer. So I stayed without salary for 2 months. But commitment was done, and Rakhi was not working that time. She told the same to her cousin too and her bhabhi said it is so nice of me as she never get any pocket money from her husband. My SIL - Dolly also demanded her husband to give pocket money from now onwards sighting my example.

We reached home late night. Around 12 in the midnight. I got a call from Rakhi's Jiju - Shambu. I switched on the speaker on and gave the phone to my wife.

Her Jiju was unaware that speaker was on. The first statement he gave was " Kya kar rahe ho? Kapde pehne hai ya nahi". Rakhi said jiju you are on speaker phone, so he replied "arre yaar" and disconnected the phone. Rakhi use to say that her jiju is like her elder brother/father. But I have never seen any brother/father asking this on the first night at 12 'O Clock. This was not acceptable. But I ignored it with this bad incidence in my mind on my special day. No one will like such call to her wife on her first night. Will any husband? Will Rakhi's Jiju like even if I ask her wife today at 12? He behaved like this on my first night. Shameless guy. Unblushing Rakhi too for listening this and smiling in front of me on that special day.

Next day we woke up around 7 that too coz my SIL(Dolly) called. She said Rakhi to ask her MIL(my mother) to give some jewelry for her ears as what will other people say who will come and meet. Rakhi handed over the mobile to me. Dolly told me the same. She told me to ask this to my mom. I was so innocent & asked this to my mother, she said we are also concerned about this and would have herself given once she was out. My mom said I was waiting for you to wake up and take bath and would have herself given the earings. And later I realized, now Rakhi is a daughter in law of our house & we were more concern about the respect/insult of our family. And my SIL was too young to guide my mom on what Rakhi will wear in our house. My SIL got some jewelry from her in-laws on the first day of her marriage, so may be by saying this she had some expectation from my parents. If boys have some expectation, it is called as dowry, but girls and her relatives have this liberty without getting any blames. And this is the irony of being a husband in India. She was interfering a lot just after few hours of marriage. I could sense that she wanted to drive us. How could she judge that I or my parents won't give anything to Rakhi on the very first day? She had a negative impression of my parents on the day one before any persuasion. And same impression was passed to Rakhi by her at the very beginning. So, our first night started and ended with my SIL calls.

We went to Kerala on honeymoon, where most of the time Rakhi was busy talking to her mom and sister. Mostly, she was on phone with them. She asked me to take gift for Dolly, Shambu and their son - Rohit. I said I don't mind talking gift, but buy if you find anything worth here. The toys she wanted to take were not kerala made and were easily available at Delhi that too at cheaper rates. But she said, in past, whenever she goes out always brings gift for all the relatives. So we took gifts by paying extra amount as a token of gift. I took the gifts for them and also for my sister’s family. Rakhi was not very happy when I took gift for my niece and didn’t help me in selecting anything the way she did for her nephew Rohit. Though, in future whenever my SIL went to travel never brought anything for me which was contradictory to Rakhi's statement. My SIL & her husband went to Manali soon after my honemoon and didn't bring anything for me. I never wanted anything, but now what about Rakhi's statement “whenever they go out always brings gift for all the relatives”. May be I was still not their family member :) Anyways it didn’t bother me much as I ignore accepting gifts from others generally as my upbringing.

During our honeymoon we also had drinks together. We had a memorable time together in Kerala " A place known as Lovers paradise.