Atlantis, Elysian!

 

Floating, adrift, my anchors aweigh,

No flotsam to cling to, no shore swims my way,

But send me no rescue; I'm happy to ride,

These currents of madness, with you as my tide.

 

Waves will not drown me: I'll surf them instead,

Sharks? Not an issue. I'll leave them for dead,

'cos your breath fills my sails, your song fills my heart,

And soon will I dock in Elysia, our art.

Reviews

[Matt Sayer]

My tide, My Sun and Land,
My King in front and grand
Is it you that I've found?
Is it the force of our quill
Which lands on

Land and hills?
Is it the power of a sword
That on sea flows me of aboard?

With your arms of protection
Yet to protect me my lord?
We know the rule of Elysian,
The love of fields of Utopia

The ways, of lucidity to reach up and high,
For survivors, there is love in the sky.

- Elis ;) x

[Matt Sayer]

Oh Elisa, such a stirring, rapturous poem :)

The Elysian fields, observed by the Sun,read moreOh Elisa, such a stirring, rapturous poem :)

The Elysian fields, observed by the Sun,
Where two lovebirds frolic, their souls joined as one,
Surrounded by rosebuds that bloom as they near,
Their heartbeats crescendo, and silence the fear.

:)

[Matt Sayer]

Oh Elisa, such a stirring, rapturous poem :) The Elysian fields, observed by the Sun, Where two lovebirds frolic, their souls joined as one, Surrounded by rosebuds that bloom as they near, Their heartbeats crescendo, and silence the fear. :)

And like the language of Elysian, who'd know only two,
There where the Sun's and Moon's swirled in hue,
Like the desert, has thirst, and the sea has no clue,
That sand, made two Rock centuries of us in glue :)

[Mashoosh Kateb]

I enjoyed this very much. My favorite line is "no shore swims my way". Thanks for penning.

[Matt Sayer]

And thank you for reading, Mashoosh! :)

[Leigh]

A great way of thinking, I really felt like I was drifting on the tide, I like this because its different and imaginative.

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you Leigh! :)

[Eddie Davis]

Very nice, rich in imagery and well crafted!

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Eddie! :)

[bobc]

MS...quite liked this one. Particularly the reference to Elysia...for some reason I'm fond of mythological allusions. Perhaps it was because the gods of mythology seemed so human to me. Thanx...bobc

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Bob! The Greek Gods especially were far more human than many of the Gods worshiped in later eras.

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

What a Concept! Truly a bright mind!!

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you so much Shane! :)

[Anand Sehgal]

No flotsam to cling to, no shore swims my way-

what a metaphor for the flow called life ! :)

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you Anand! So glad you liked it :)

[Rogie-Dodge]

I really like this one, it swept me away.

Only thing that bugs me a tad is the start of the second verse, the second line in particular .. it seem sto break the magic spell of the rest of the poem, it's a different style.

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Rogie! :) A bit too rough and Aussie on that line, maybe :P

[Rogie-Dodge]

Yeah .. the only thing missing was a "Shark, mate? No worries" :D :D

I think with a different line there the poem would flow and be more consistent in its feel and so paint a more consistent picture. Its like a beautiful seascape painting with crocodile dundee killing a croc in the middle.

Hope you don't mind the criticism there .. I just feel it is so good that it deserves to be just that bit better if it can be.

[Matt Sayer]

Not at all! Constructive criticism is most welcome :) Thank you!

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are adrift on an ocean of your own design.And you design it well.Your poems are pure poetry matt well done:)

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you so much Vidya! You always make me smile so bright with your reviews :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

You are welcome:)

[Raymond Federle]

Well rhymed and done.....and a short story there as well! :)

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Raymond! A tale that lives beyond the words :)