Serendipity in the Sky

Dancing, prancing, twirling on high,
Our feet leave the floor to tickle the sky,
Limbs intertwined like soul-mated snakes,
We'll fly to the stars, whatever it takes.

Reviews

[Matt Sayer]

This is so creative and delicious, it makes one feel to be in "Utopian" bliss, together with the "one"... dreamy, and perfect! I enjoyed your short four lines, intensely! :)
And they will whirl for long after I left here still in my head... ;) a gem!

- Elisa

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Elisa! A whirling duet in an Elysian sky :)

[Ken Simm.]

Complete thought in and of itself. Almost a circle and I like its whimsy.

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Ken! :)

[R. L. Hill]

Love this. It makes me think of making love.

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Quirklet! :)

[Eddie Davis]

You might work on the third line a bit, it seems to be a bit awkward to me as well. Perhaps 'limbs' instead of 'Arms and Legs'. Other than that, it is a lively little poem.

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Eddie! You're right on the money; limbs works much better. I'll edit that now :)

[bobc]

MS...kind of like this. Awkward pacing in the third line to my ear. Have you considered 'twined' rather than 'intertwined'? Same or very similar meaning and holds the metre. Just a suggestion...bobc

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Bob! Funnily enough, that's what I had originally, but I keep hearing a different rhythm dependent on the emphasis placed on "Arms and legs". Thanks for the suggestion :)

[Shane Hogan Poetry]

This poem is very psychedelic. Calm to the ear but a fire to the imagination!

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Shane! :)

[icelandicblue]

A lovely way to start my day. It's a delightful little poem.

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks icelandic! Glad I could start your day well :)

[Raymond Federle]

Very funny and well done. :)

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Raymond! :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is so magical like.Dear god the only time my feet leaves the floor to tickle the sky is when I am drunk haha.This is very nice Matt:)

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Vidya! When I'm drunk, my feet don't so much tickle the sky, as my whole body kisses the floor... :P

[Vidya Bacchus]

Haha duly noted.You are welcome:)

[aneeqa]

"We will fly to the stars, whatever it takes"..... super cool line, quite inspirational to me....in short, I loved it.....well done :)

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks aneeqa! What is life, without a celestial goal to strive for? :)

[aneeqa]

Its quite strange and amazing that a tech lover is also walking on same path, steps ahead.....ur welcome...I hope that we will reach the goal before this breathing deceives us.....:)

[Aly_Mello]

I really like this. I love that its short and simple. Nice use of words and the name is great. All in all I love it.

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you so much Aly! :)