Serendipity in the Sky

Dancing, prancing, twirling on high,
Our feet leave the floor to tickle the sky,
Limbs intertwined like soul-mated snakes,
We'll fly to the stars, whatever it takes.

Reviews

[Matt Sayer]

This is so creative and delicious, it makes one feel to be in "Utopian" bliss, together with the "one"... dreamy, and perfect! I enjoyed your short four lines, intensely! :)
And they will whirl for long after I left here still in my head... ;) a gem!

- Elisa

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Elisa! A whirling duet in an Elysian sky :)

[TL Boehm]

a lovely snippet of a poem I would so enjoy seeing more -

[Anand Sehgal]

Limbs intertwined like soul-mated snakes,
We'll fly to the stars, whatever it takes.

It seems that you have consumed the wisdom fruit :) :P
good write :)
*******************************************************************************

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Anand! The wisdom fruit blooms aplenty around these parts :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Very flowing, moving, articulate verse. If you are looking to modify it at all, it would maintain its flow even if the longer lines were broken up, but give the poem its true justice by increasing its visual length.

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks KL! Great advice; I haven't quite had enough experience with the visual aspects of laying out and structuring poetry :)

[Lyn Anderson]

no problem. any time.

[Justine]

Perfect ! I don't think I need say anything else? :) Justine

[Matt Sayer]

You're much too kind Justine! Thank you though :)

[Justine]

Just saying how I see it.

[Anna Blackburn]

Beautiful rhyming. I love how it's short and jumps right to the point. ;) Always a pleasure to read your poems, they are of plenty.

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you so much Anna! Always lovely to read your reviews :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

This so refreshing Matt!... I envision dipping into the stars...whilst moon dancing...
Of course, you would have to take off your shoes... there's nothing better than bare-foot dancing with your soul mate...

Your words sparkle like a diamond, my friend... Lovely!!!~xoxo~:)

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you so much Robbie! Love always burns brightest when first it dawns :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

and it is intoxicating.... truly addictive, that burning light... :)

[Daffy]

Jumping, skipping, hoping to try,
To reach those heights, like stars in the sky,
But limbs that are laden, with gravity makes
All this impossible, whatever it takes.

[Matt Sayer]

Ooh, an altered perspective on the theme. Very nice Daffy! :)

[Daffy]

Ah, but I do prefer your perspective....

[Bob Sherunkle]

Ha! Short and sweet,Excellent Matt ! Just goes to show that you don't have to write lines upon lines to put the feeling across.Great write

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you so much Bob! Sometimes a single thought can open a portal into a whole realm of sentiment. :)

[Mashoosh Kateb]

Great imagery. I am not a poet but I am not sure how you can tickle the sky with your feet. Also, I have a hard time associating snakes with romance. If you could find someother lesser menacing creature I think it will help maintain the mood. My two cents.

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Manoosh. Tickling the sky with your feet is a metaphor for flying high, riding the wind-currents of euphoria. And entwined snakes may have a sinister side, but so can love.