Her Nightmare

Savage, his fangs,
Moist, his lips.
Sallow, his frame,
Bony, his hips.

Black, his suit,
The black of night.
A swallowing gloom,
No end in sight.

He lurched with a creak,
The floorboards protest.
He held out a claw,
Asked, will you confess?

For Your sins I can see,
Your every dark thought,
Trapped inside that frail head,
Just the snack that I sought.

And his serpentine tongue,
On his lips did it play.
For he tasted the fear,
As she screamed 'Go away!'

But mere words would not banish, 
This spectre, this shroud.
He fed on her fright,
He cackled aloud.

Dear, dear, I think its time,
That I took my sweet treat.
Now be a good lass,
And just take a seat.

It will not take much time,
You’ll be free before long.
No more fear, no more pain,
No more joy, no more songs.

Not a tear will fall down,
Those pale bloodless cheeks.
You will be reborn,
Now come what’s that? Eek!

For a small light-grey mouse,
Had sprung from its home,
A hole in the wall,
To wander and roam.

And with a shriek like a blade,
Dragged across a sharp rock,
He fled the dark house,
Before a tick of the clock,

Struck midnight and rang,
Drowned out a small cry.
The shaking, quaking girl,
Who thought she would die.

But now that she had,
A means to defend,
She calmed herself down, 
And picked up her friend .

As she patted the lump,
His fur warm and nice.
She knew that her nightmare,
Was frightened of mice.

Reviews

[Justine]

A dark, sinister tale told in perfect rhyme. I love how the story unfolds and I was kept wondering what might happen next. Wondering about the last line fifth stanza, as it seems out of place and interrupts the flow a bit? Perhaps something like "she screamed go away"? I dunno. Superb ending, not what I anticipated. I must read more of you. Justine

[Matt Sayer]

Fantastic feedback Justine, thank you! You are spot on with that line; the extra syllable in 'shouted' throws the flow. I can't believe I missed that! :P

[Justine]

Nice to see someone else is "human" :) Hope you'll do likewise for me, but most of my writing is free verse..Have a good one.

[Ruth]

This took me on a journey, wonderfully expressed and darkly inviting...lures the reader on and on, waiting, anticipating...excellent x

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you very much! :)

[Ruth]

Welcome :)

[Kimberley Reid]

This is so thrilling! I was reading it and properly inticed by your rhyming... who knew it would be just a dream though, a seriously enjoyable read! Nice one(:

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you so much :)

[Anna Blackburn]

Your rhyming is spot on! I think that in the fifth stanza, last line, you should put either quotes or apostrophe marks around 'go away', just to further indicate that it's being said by the girl. I enjoyed this poem a lot.

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you! Great advice too :)

[Chris Rampersad]

Oh this is cool. The rhyming and flow is well done and the story is told with great description. This was very enjoyable. Keep up the good work dude. :)

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you very much :)

[Anita Singh]

The plot thickens half way but it concludes with a happy ending. Nice work!!

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you :)

[Bob Sherunkle]

That was fantastic! I initially thought it was a nod to Nosferatu,glad I was wrong.Excellent

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you :)

[aneeqa]

It was my first time dat I was reading a horror poetry.... it really is worthy of appreciation cuz it contains a story with rhyming.....cool work sir.... I loved de way hw horror kept on increasing nd hw beautifully it dropped.... :)

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

[Tennessee]

Funny. It was funny but also very compelling and uses clear words to tell your story. Good work kid.

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks for the review! :)

[Brooke]

Great twist at the end, your imagery made this a great read that kept me interested, nice poem!

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you!