Her Nightmare

Savage, his fangs,
Moist, his lips.
Sallow, his frame,
Bony, his hips.

Black, his suit,
The black of night.
A swallowing gloom,
No end in sight.

He lurched with a creak,
The floorboards protest.
He held out a claw,
Asked, will you confess?

For Your sins I can see,
Your every dark thought,
Trapped inside that frail head,
Just the snack that I sought.

And his serpentine tongue,
On his lips did it play.
For he tasted the fear,
As she screamed 'Go away!'

But mere words would not banish, 
This spectre, this shroud.
He fed on her fright,
He cackled aloud.

Dear, dear, I think its time,
That I took my sweet treat.
Now be a good lass,
And just take a seat.

It will not take much time,
You’ll be free before long.
No more fear, no more pain,
No more joy, no more songs.

Not a tear will fall down,
Those pale bloodless cheeks.
You will be reborn,
Now come what’s that? Eek!

For a small light-grey mouse,
Had sprung from its home,
A hole in the wall,
To wander and roam.

And with a shriek like a blade,
Dragged across a sharp rock,
He fled the dark house,
Before a tick of the clock,

Struck midnight and rang,
Drowned out a small cry.
The shaking, quaking girl,
Who thought she would die.

But now that she had,
A means to defend,
She calmed herself down, 
And picked up her friend .

As she patted the lump,
His fur warm and nice.
She knew that her nightmare,
Was frightened of mice.

Reviews

[Justine]

A dark, sinister tale told in perfect rhyme. I love how the story unfolds and I was kept wondering what might happen next. Wondering about the last line fifth stanza, as it seems out of place and interrupts the flow a bit? Perhaps something like "she screamed go away"? I dunno. Superb ending, not what I anticipated. I must read more of you. Justine

[Matt Sayer]

Fantastic feedback Justine, thank you! You are spot on with that line; the extra syllable in 'shouted' throws the flow. I can't believe I missed that! :P

[Justine]

Nice to see someone else is "human" :) Hope you'll do likewise for me, but most of my writing is free verse..Have a good one.

[Angi]

Ha! I was waiting with bated breath for her nightmare to step into the light and strike. The surprise ending had me laughing out loud! I liked the descriptions in the first stanza- 'bony, his hips' had me nodding my head yes. Nicely done, Matt. Angi~

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you very much Angi! :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

Well that was very spooky.Well written as usual matt:)

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks Vidya! Happy ending though :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

That is true oh great feline lover lol :)

[Rachelle]

.....Creepiness with a twist! Looking forward for more....

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks sweetbind! I'll keep them coming! :)

[InsanityWriter]

Nicely done! I love that twist to this seemingly sinister tale. ;)

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you! :)

[Nutella Wolf [Alias: S..]

Amazing plot! You showed that everything is afraid of something and everything has a weakness. Love it, especially since it's like a story!

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you very much :)

[Daniel Sala]

You go from creepy suspense to funny effortlessly, a great poem.

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you very much Daniel :)

[Winter Renee Vineyard]

Love it! Nice twist at the end!

[Matt Sayer]

Thanks! :)

[Allie E]

Great job! Your words are very complex and they match up so well.

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you! :)

[love, lorey]

Love this! Suspensful, a tad creepy, and fun all the way through. It kept my attention to the very end! Very well done sir, bravo!

I agree, that maybe a bit of rework on the last line of the 5th stanza, but otherwise even your flow is perfection. :)

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you lorey! :)

[love, lorey]

Anytime, sir!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Such a wonderful storyteller you are!...I am thrilled to read this dark piece...
It's refreshing to read new talent..(I know a treasure when I see one) :)
Very creative, excellent write! :)

[Matt Sayer]

Thank you very much Robbie! You're much too kind :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I truly enjoyed reading your work of art. :)