self image

A Story by machu

What did i ever do right to receive such love from you.

Don't you know that I have failed you a thousand times before?

Yet you accept me with such joy and with an admiration that totally confuses me.

I have tried to pretend that I'm the strongest and the smartest to earn the love that you so generously give. Because that's the kind of father you deserve.

As you grow bigger, my flaws can no longer stay hidden yet you don't seem to mind.

How do you do that? I never knew such thing is even possible.

Every hug, every kiss, every laugh at my jokes, every second that i'm with you, I see the sparkle in your eyes. And deep inside me there's a certain sadness. Sadness that you will see through this con artist you call dad. Sadness that the spark will fade. It terrifies me that this too will go away.
As i spend more time with you i was able to get a glimpse of your world, and it's so beautiful and pure and full of joy. Then there i was. I saw myself through the lens of your wide eyes. I don't see a man full of mistakes. I see a man who loves wholeheartedly. I don't see disappointments. I see a proud man able to conquer anything. I don't see sadness. I see joy making the most out of every now and bravely face tomorrow.
That's what you see in me. That is how you view me. I understand now. Thank you for letting me into your world. Thank you for allowing me to see the beauty in me. You will eventually grow bigger and smarter than your old man. But i will never forget what you did to me and the love that you gave freely.
Go ahead son. Grow tall and strong. I am so proud of you. I will always be there for you as you have been there for me.