Introduction to Gender

Adolescence is a confusing time in some people's lives; the human mind is a tricky thing. We're all trying to figure out and understand ourselves�" our personalities, skills, interests... When it comes to personality, sometimes masculinity or femininity does not come as naturally to some as it does to others, especially when there are underlying disorders. As of late�" 1960s onward�" there has been a rise in the cultural phenomenon of social sex/gender changing. I was caught up in this for five years of my life in an attempt to improve my view of myself as a person, based on my past. Now, this is not to say that all transgender people are sick or have disorders, but I was and that makes me wonder where everyone else stands. I don't wish to be offensive, but I wonder if recognizing mental and physical gender as different is a mental disorder or something else? Does Gender Identity Disorder really exist or is it just something bigoted people made up to stay in the past? I'm not trying to prove or disprove anything, but I am going to try to express my personal experience as a trans person which may have happened to others. I am mainly writing this so I don’t feel like five years of my growth was wasted, but also because I see myself as a psychological case. When I thought I was helping, I actually hurt and confused a lot of people; including and especially myself.

Because it is relevant to why I subconsciously became another gender, I'll first be talking a little about American societal expectations and unrighteousness of women. I would talk about it worldwide, but this is the society I grew up in so it affected me more than international misogyny did. There is a lot of hate towards women that we don't outright notice, but instill from practically birth. With just a few common ideas such as the stigma against women being shirtless or breastfeeding in public (never mind tank tops when it's hot in school), baby doll and carriage toys for young girls, and the myth that sex will always hurt for females. Being shirtless as a woman in public has been legal since 1992, but it is very taboo and dangerous, as breasts are seen as entirely sexual when they had an initially mothering nature (and somehow even feeding a baby can be seen as sexual.) Next, giving young girls baby dolls is propelling beliefs onto them. They get the rest of their life to be an adult but don’t enjoy their time as children because they were suggested to mimic adult life or prematurely make a real baby. What else could giving those types of toys to young girls imply? As for the misconception of sex always hurting for females, it is entirely false and not enough people know that. Outdated sex education classes cater to young boys who are taught that their pleasure is the only one that matters in the team act of sex. Not to mention internal and external misogyny for whatever reason, and gender roles that every person is expected to follow and if they do not, they are automatically seen as an other or gay. We forget to see everyone as people instead of their genitals because societies follow such a strict set of rules placed in the checkboxes of Male and Female.

Reviews

[Carol Cashes]

Mercy! Where did you grow up? I'm a child of the '70's, and I can assure you that my adolescent self and my peers definitely knew sex was not painful and that full participation with the other party made it the coolest thing we knew! I feel bad that your experience was so tainted with misconceptions, myths and downright lies.
Yes, as a girl child raised in the Deep South, there were codes of behavior that were acceptable and being a lady at all times was paramount. But, like I stated earlier, I was 15 in 1972 and ladylike was how I acted in church...on Sunday...because my Mother was watching me.
I do have some questions...do you consider gender to be fluid? And if so, why? I understand that sexual attraction is not the only defining characteristic of gender...but I also have to ask if an adolescent is attracted to both at some time or another, are they not bisexual? I don't have any personal experience with this issue...that I'm aware of, and with the current spotlight on transgenders and their struggles etc., I have given more thought than I would have otherwise. Please enlighten me.

[Macciola]

Child of the early 2000s, teen of the 2010s. I have to say the internet played a big part of how I felt. I used to think gender could be fluid, but now I'm leaning more towards no. I think a person's gender can stay the same while they may have the "personality" or anything else of the opposite. After all, there are many types of people and it took me too long to figure out that people do not have to be so strict with how they may act to remain the gender they were born. I was attracted to both when I was younger, and I consider myself bisexual.
Had to wait for Writer's Cafe to think I wasn't spamming, putting up the rest of the chapters now if you care to read (there's not too many)

[Carol Cashes]

First, let me say I appreciate your considered and honest response. I agree 100% about gender characteristics, as a pasty middle-aged white lady with a mood disorder that manifests primarily in anger, I have been told that I have "manly" traits - bold, outspoken, unafraid...and I have always bristled at these traits being labeled as masculine. I will read more of your work as I'm completely intrigued and eager to be educated.

[Macciola]

That's okay! You can be a masculine woman, but you're still a woman. Gender does not have to be changed, and the same goes for a feminine man.
Thank you haha, it's mostly opinion and speculation, so take it as you will!