the letter i didn’t send

obviously written on february 13th

february thirteenth.

nothing.

everything.

to the blind eye today is just

tuesday,

twenty-four long, draining hours.

one year ago.

you don’t remember

february thirteenth.

february thirteenth, twenty-twenty-three.

one year can change you.

infinity.

february thirteenth, twenty-twenty-three.

3:22 pm.

jeans

crop top

thin black hoodie.

“you’re cute.”

details.

february thirteenth, twenty-twenty-three.

the first time i saw

you.

we were young.

but i knew 

when i saw you.

so many times

we had met,

lives flying by.

february thirteenth, twenty-twenty-three.

one year ago,

a full revolution around the sun.

was it good?

“it was good.”

was it bad?

“terrible, really.”

february thirteenth.

you won’t remember it.

you don’t even remember my phone number.

or my birthday.

or even my name.

nothing.

february thirteenth, twenty-twenty-four.

i hope this letter reaches you.

i promised to remember us,

and i still do.

february thirteenth, twenty-twenty-four.

after all of it;

the pain,

the love,

the hatred,

the music.

i do hope 

you’re ok.

february thirteenth, twenty-twenty-three.

i died.

it is okay to mourn someone who is not dead.

Author's Note

old draft

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

What a difference a year can make. And the date, the day before Valentine’s Day. You remember the exact time you met him. He made an impression!! An outpouring of various emotions here, but the lasting one is of grief and loss. Yes it is ok to mourn someone who is not dead Mabel. The heart has taken a battering here. Hopefully the grief will soften before too long.

Chris

[Thomas W Case]

Powerful work. You convey the emotion well.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes we die before we die.
We can be heart dead but still breathing and moving ...not feeling...that is over, buried, or strewn ashes.
And someone can do that to us and just move on without the slightest afterthought or memory of.
j.