Fed up ! let everything behind

Some words about my life

     Deciding to let everything behind was never my choice. Who would choose death instead of life when life is wonderfull ?

Letting everything down says it all : I am throttled, strangled, I can not breath anymore. I decided ,suddenly, to forget everything or maybe to pretend forgetting everything in order to survive. I'll try to live a life which is never meant to be mine. I can not put blame on myself or on anybody else, maybe destiny play its role, a major role. That's it :  destiny draw the path of our lives and we are just following this path, we can not change it and if we do , we will just get hurt. "Life goes that way and dreams will stay dreams", yeah! finally I have done the right conclusion, a sentence that makes life easier but of course not better. But can we find a better alternative?... Waking up in the morning and recongnizing you are born in Morocco, that you have to live in this country ,pushes you to change your mind immediatly : No, I will never find an alternative, yes dreams will stay dreams.

       I've been always an idealist girl, I see everything bigger than what it really is, I had dreams and plans, I wanted to be the change. Being an engineer means nothing, It's all about work ,all about learning by heart an academic program, it doesn't make me special, neither unique, I am nothing more than a machine who works to get a diploma. What is it for ? To get a job ? a car ? money ? husband ? family ? children ? ... Again the boring life that everyone should lead before dying. Then you will die, everyone will forget about you, you have done nothing worthy, you haven't ,even, enjoy the life you are given.

        Unfortunately, It is even harder to find persons that can help you or just support you, support the way you are thinking and keep saying : " yeah you will do it!" , "yeah! perfect girl".

        Everything now is done, you recognize you are 21 years old and you have done nothing yet with your life. All you have done,maybe, is some school achievements. It's so sad and pitful how humans are building their lives, they are ruining it, and I can do nothing, I can not stop it, I am feeling like being in a jail or in a hospital where everyone is suffering from a mental disease, you can talk with nobody and in the same time you can not cure everybody, they represent all a strong power against you! You are the crazy one. You can not do anything, if you wanna survive, pretend being insane and live the life they are living and that's what I have called in the beginning : " letting everything behind"

Author's Note

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Reviews

[BlackPrince]

This is a very powerful and truthful statement. I like how you express yourself with such love and truth.

You clearly are intelligent and talented. Just be strong in your daily life and never underestimate yourself.
No matter what life's daily realities throw at you, just never give on the will to live and enjoy the life experience.
I can immediately see that you have a poetic soul. I am very sure that you can write poetry, as part and extension of your writing abilities which have no limits, unless YOU limit yourself.
I know being a woman has go its own social pressures; but still, don't be confined to into anybody's box, stereotypes or presumptions.
Respect and love yourself first; it's only then you'll be able to love others who must deserve your love; they must earn it. Don't let anybody take you for granted.
Your Creator put you on this Earth to enjoy the experience of joy and happiness, and nobody has the right to stop your happiness.
Yes, you can use your God-given abilities to inspire millions, whilst always being true to yourself.
You are unique and needed in this world. You are bigger than Moroco: You are universal.

WELL DONE

[omaima]

Thank you so much ! I really appreciate your words , it means so much for me.

[Weeping willow]

Wow! very emotional write,I hope you fulfill some of your dreams.Life has a strange way of changing your view as you trod along the path you think you want to walk;- Good write.

[omaima]

Thank u so much :)