The Hangry games; part two

The friends now number ten. How many will be living once the day is done?

According to the rules of the Hunger Games a canon shot indicates that someone has died. So, if you’re in such a tournament with a selection of people you think are your dearest friends, hearing two canon shots leads to all sorts of questions.

Who is dead?

More importantly, who killed them?

Niamh was wondering these very thoughts as she gazed around miserably, completely lost. She was a super friendly, kind-hearted soul, so it made no sense to her that anyone would try and hurt anyone else, let alone friends killing people who you love.

“What do you think?” Oscar held out his arms like a man showing off a new suit.

He was covered in mud and grass. Somehow, he’d turned his clothes into camouflage.

“Uh…” Niamh didn’t know what to say. “It’s kind of dirty?”

“Kind of…” Oscar spluttered indignantly. “It’s for hiding! Someone out there is taking this whole Hunger Games thing seriously, that means we need to be ready for them.”

“Aw man, what are you sayin’?” Robert looked distressed. “You think our friends gone try and kill us? I can't die, I'm a daddy now!”

"You're a Daddy?" Oscar looked shocked. "When did that happen?"

"Come on man, you know I've got my little puppy Bobjamin. He can't grow up without no Daddy." 

 

“Two shots, does that mean Anna is dead?”

“I don’t feel dead.” Anna was lying on the floor, bleeding profusely from her arm and hip. She was in immense pain; it did not feel useful to point that out at that moment though. Anna rarely spoke without a purpose.

“Oh no, that means someone else is dead!” Amelia looked horrified.

“At least Anna is still alive.” Tan looked worried.

“Not for long.” Anna muttered sarcastically.

“If only we knew a doctor or a nurse or something!” Tan-the-man wrung his hands in despair.

 

Alicia, Tan-the-man’s very good and longstanding friend happens to be a highly qualified nurse. She was staring over the edge of the cliff with the words “First do no harm” running on a loop in her head. Accidently killing a friend is probably a breach of the Hippocratic Oath.

Angphu looked over the edge with her.

“Maybe he didn’t die? Landed in the waves or something?” His perpetual optimism was under severe strain.

“Those two cannons mean two people have died.” Alicia explained miserably.

          “Well then, we’d best find the others. Make sure no one else gets hurt.”

          Alicia winced. It was her that had hurt Bob, albeit accidentally. Angphu might have inadvertently used the wrong words, but the words he used next were the right ones.

        “We should find them Alicia. They might require medical attention.”

Alicia’s training kicked in. Putting the life lost to one side she turned around and got back in the car. Angphu got into the driver’s seat and managed to pull off a three-point turn in reverse. They drove to the top of the hill, with intentions towards setting up the telescope.

 

          “Hey Oscar, isn’t that a house over there?” Robert squinted into the distance. “Sure looks like a house to me.”

          “Looks more like a metal shed.”

          “Like an Anderson shelter?” Niamh was looking in the same direction.

          “We should head over there. It will give us protection in case we get attacked.”

          “No one’s going to attack us, they’re our friends Oscar!”

           

“We really need to build a stretcher of some kind.”

Tan and Tan-the-man were carrying Anna by the legs and arms. Neither was particularly strong. She was fast losing blood and confidence in her friends’ ability to save her life. Still though, it seemed rude to point out their various ineptitudes.

It was however something of a metaphorical kick in the teeth when Tan started fretting about Nabila.

“She’s going to get really tired if she has to walk all this distance.”

“Given that she shot my husband and me my sympathy is somewhat limited.”

“Oh, she didn’t mean to. Yo didn’t mean to shoot anyone, didya girlfriend?”

People use baby talk when speaking to their children. Tan used sassy black dialect. This is ironic, as Tan is brown, not black.

“Where are we actually going?” Amelia was holding Nabila’s hand.

“We’re going back to our car. Then we can get Anna in the back and start looking for medical assistance.”

They bundled poor Anna (who was looking rather pale) into the back of the car. They put Nabila on Amelia's lap. Nabila kept trying to squirm free to poke Anna. She'd never seen a bullet wound before so she was quite fascinated.

"Everybody comfortable?" Tan-the-man asked from the driver's seat.

"No." Anna replied. Not her wittiest moment but her sarcium-gland was failing her in the moment of pain (the sarcium-gland is the organ that produces sarcasm in the human body. It's a real thing. Ask any doctor)

 

Alicia and Angphu were not doing well. They had managed to get to the top of the hill, neither one felt particularly keen about descending it. Also, setting up a telescope is not as simple as one might initially think. They had gotten the thing out of Bob's enormous rucksack and were now trying to work out how to build the device.

  "Is this right?" They were trying to attach the telescope to the stand, not realising that there were screws that tightened the grip of the holder.

"Yeah, that's definitely correct. There must be a magnet we have to activate, this telescope keeps sliding out."

"Oh, screw this," Angphu said (rather ironic, as screwing in the grip was exactly what was required). He picked up the telescope and tried to stare through one end.

"There's nowhere to look through!"

 

        Oscar, Niamh and Robert were back in their car, driving towards the metal shed. The car smelled strongly of the mud that Oscar had caked himself in. He was currently talking tactics. Oscar came from a military family and new a great deal of useful information. He was discussing staying on watch during the night and how to build a fire that doesn't smoke too much.

        Unfortunately, Niamh and Robert weren't listening. They were singing hymns together to relieve the tension.

        "Look, there's people on top of that hill." Amelia pointed to where Angphu and Alicia were trying to set up the telescope.

        "Let's go that way." Tan held her rifle nervously.

        "Tan, why haven't you got the safety on?" Tan-the-man glanced at her with a raised eyebrow.

        "There's only two of them. Weren't there three people in Alicia's car?"

        "Oh em gee guys, you don't think they murdered Bob, do you?"

        "I don't know but if they did I bet he was flappable when it happened. He’s broken his streak!"

I have no doubt that somewhere in the infinite after-realm Bob's immortal soul smiled and shook its head knowingly. He had lived a life unflapped.

        “Wish I could have seen his face when he was flapped.”

        "Tan, show some respect Bob might be dead!"

        "Whatevs." Tan was too busy worrying about her daughter to engage in trivial emotions like empathy.

        "Let's get out of the car and walk the rest of the way, this car's not going to drive up a muddy hill well."

        "I'd rather stay here thanks." Anna murmured faintly.

        "We'll go and fetch them down for you."

       

        Angphu was still struggling with the telescope when he accidently dropped it. It rolled down the slope towards the group of people approaching them.

        "Oops." He looked guiltily down the green slant, grass with dozens of small piles of freshly dug earth. "Hope that telescope wasn't expensive."

        It rolled down the hill towards his friends who he had not yet spotted. It was picking up speed.

 

        "There we go. The fire is coming along wonderfully now."

        Oscar had indeed set up a brilliant fire by the window in the Anderson shelter. The room had many bunks and looked serviceable and slightly cosy.

 

        "Oh guys, they've dropped something. Be careful it doesn't hit any of us."

        Amelia had spotted the telescope rolling down the hill. Everyone else saw it travelling through a field of molehills, so there was no way the thing could accidently cause any harm. Absolutely no way.

        The telescope rolled over a landmine.

     The explosion was terrifying. Shrapnel and shattered telescope rained down upon them. A particularly large piece flew towards the group.

        A strange force-field activated around Nabila and a stray piece of shrapnel bounced harmlessly of the translucent protection.

 

        "Um." Alicia frowned at the scene before her. "Do telescopes normally explode like that?"

        "I'm not sure, Bob was the expert." Angphu looked thoughtful. "Maybe the telescope was booby trapped?"

 

        "Holy crap, what was that?" Niamh had been enjoying a sip of Oscar's emergency wine (always keep a bottle in the glove box. This is Oscar's philosophy) by the toasty warm fire but she dropped it due the noise in the distance.

        "Stay in here, I'll go outside and investigate."

        For all that Robert and Niamh liked to take the mickey out of Oscar they were impressed by his courage.

        Oscar bravely walked towards the door, his feet tapping on the copper floor.

        Crouching to minimise the target for potential foes Oscar crept outside

 

        Tan, Amelia and Tan-the-man were staring at the three-year-old Nabila. the forcefield around her had faded now.

        "Uh..." Amelia broke the silence. "Is Nabila immortal guys?"

        The husband and wife looked at each other, confused.

        "Don't look at me!" Tan stared at her husband pointedly. "Ain't no immortality on my side of the family!"

      "There's none on mine either!" Tan temporarily looked suspicious. Nabila had always looked kind of pale. But no, he knew his wife too well. She had no inclination for a complexion Caucasian, preferring instead a more Asian persuasion.

      "Maybe it's a mutation?" Amelia chipped in helpfully.

   "Wait guys, remember what the satnav said? Only one adult may survive! That means Nabila's not part of this. She's safe. The gameis protecting her!"

        The three friends whooped and cheered, relieved at the happy news.

       "Speaking of safe," Amelia remembered. "Isn't Anna still bleeding to death in the car?"

 

        Alicia and Angphu had finally spotted their friends and were making their way down the hill, carefully keeping an eye out for burning telescope debris. They picked a careful path winding its way between piles of ruptured soil.

        "Tan - Nabila - Tan! It's so good to see you guys."

        "Oh sure, don't mind me."

        "It's nice to see you too Amelia."

        "So how did you two know how to get through the minefield safely?"

        "Wait, there's a minefield?"

 

        Oscar was lying on his stomach and squinting, hoping to catch a glimpse of anything useful. In the far distance he could see some smoke hanging in the air and a small group of dots which had to be people in the distance.

        Oscar started shuffling on his belly towards the source of danger.

 

        "You think Oscar will be alright out there?" Niamh sounded worried.

        "He'll be fine." Robert was sipping a beer while perched on one of the bunkbeds. "Niamh, do you think we could invent our own cocktail using all this hot sauce?"

 

        The five adults and Nabila followed their own footprints back to the car. They did this to avoid further landmines. Nabila ran off the chosen path at one point, detonating a mine which her forcefield protected her from. In fact, the explosion sent her twenty feet up in the air and she roared with glee while she safely fell back to the earth.

        Tan-the-man sighed and plucked a small piece of shrapnel from his forearm.

 

        "Oh, you've all come back for me." Anna was nearing delirious now. "I don't want to worry anyone but I did hear two explosions just now. Of course, it might have been a hallucination. I think that's started to happen"

        "What makes you think you are hallucinating?"

        "I saw a pink dragon and a purple tiger drinking tea and eating sandwiches together. Also; I saw Dave running around in nothing but his black cape and boxer shorts."

      "Oh damn, she's hallucinating."

      Alicia got to work cleaning and binding the wounds. In truth, Anna had not lost as much blood as it had originally seemed. Alicia could probably stabilise her.

        "Right, what's the plan now?"

        "I think we should come up with a way to fight back against whoever's running this place."

        "Yeah." Tan held up her rifle. "Some b*****d's put Nabila in danger."

        "You care about the rest of us being in danger too, right?"

        "Whatevs."

 

      Oscar was crawling towards the source of the two puffs of smoke. He was incredibly intent, determined that nothing would break his focus.

        Just then a badger ran across his field of vision.

        Oscar has something of a weakness for badgers. I could not say that he understands this weakness any more than anyone else does. They have always fascinated him.

        A vague logical voice in the back of his head told him that the badger would lead him to water. That the best possible survival decision would be to follow the badger.

        Mostly his brain just told him to stand up and run after the badger.

 

        "How do we find whoever has set up the games?" Amelia looked thoughtful. She was a very capable woman in the realm of gyms and human resources but fighting back against all odds was not something she practised a lot.

        "It's something to do with the Satnavs. If only we knew someone who had an expertise in broadband connections."

        "Wait, didn't Bob used to work with the internet?"

        "Uh... Bob sort of fell off a cliff." Alicia looked up from Anna, who she was still looking after.

        "Pushed" Angphu coughed loudly.

        "What about his brother?"

        "Surely he wouldn't be in the games, wasn't he cycling?"

"Yep. Mounted on his bike. Cold air flowing threw his hair. Beard dancing about like a windsock..."

     "So preeeetty" Nabila was fond of Bob's brother and felt the need to add her own assessment.

"It doesn't matter," Tan interrupted. "He can't help if he's not here with us."

        "We just need to work out where the people in charge are." Tan-the-man said. "And quietly explain that they have made a mistake."

        "I'ma gon' shoot their faces."

     It is astonishing how quickly a middle-class lady will transform into a pseudo-gangster when she has a gun in her hand. We must forgive her; the circumstances were highly irregular. At least she did not propose to "pop a cap" into anyone’s gluteus maximus.

 

        Gazooks! A giant creature is chasing me! Damn that b*****d abomination is fast! I'd better bloody well leg it double time, else I'll be dead before supper. Hell's bells and Christ's balls, I need to lose weight. So out of shape. Haven't got the lung capacity for this kind of nonsense. Goodbye cruel world, I'm done for!

        I don't speak badger but I imagine that is what the poor fellow was saying as he scuttled away from Oscar.

 

        "Look!" Amelia pointed at a distant figure racing across the green. "A soldier!"

        "Oh crap!" The timid members of the group ducked behind the Tans' car.

        Tan pressed the butt of the rifle into her shoulder, sighting down the barrel.

 

        BANG.

 

        A spurt of blood shot out of Oscar's arm and he lost his train of thought. He felt like the God-queen of all wasps had buried its iron sting in his flesh.

        "Who did that?" He yelped. Oscar is a smart man but a bullet hole had shocked him out of his common sense. "Is someone there?"

        BANG, BANG? Two gunshots suggested.

        "Oh yes, I understand." Oscar replied to the gunshot incoherently. "What's happened here is I have broken cover. I've presented myself as a target to long-range weaponry causing me to be wounded on the arm. In pausing I have given the marksman a static target and subsequently sustained shots to the torso."

        BANG. The gunshot seemed to agree with Oscar's summation.

        The bullet exploded out of Oscar's skull and the conversation ended there.

 

        "Boom, headshot!" Tan punched the air. She was sure it was at least a thousand-yard shot.

        Just to be clear here, Tan was under the impression that she had shot one their enemies. She is far too polite to shoot a friend or acquaintance. That this misidentified oppressor was in actual fact Oscar in homemade camouflage worn for the expressed purpose of surviving the events forced upon them by the aforementioned oppressors is simply a feeble joke presented by the mean-spirited forces of destiny.

        "You know," Her husband was also under the impression she had shot a stranger. "If you'd just wounded him we might have been able to get some information, find out how to get out of here."

        Tan-the-man was wearing his trademark grin. He wore it on many occasions. Pointing out smart ideas after their usefulness has expired was one of his favourite moments to dust off the expression and slap it onto his face.

“Well next time you shoot them then, smarty pants!”

Tan shrugged and showed her his unarmed hands. He continued smiling; he had won the argument without the need for words.

 

Praise the holy paws of badger-Jesus! Once more he has entered my life and saved me, oh worthless sinner I am; I that thought He who defends against culls and cruelties jolly well might abandon me in my hour of need! Hallelujah! Glory to to the furry spirit. Adoration to Badgermatron, father of all badgers.

Again, the badger monologue is pure conjecture.

I wish I could speak badger.

 

“Do you think Oscar’s okay?” Niamh asked timidly. They had not dared to peek out of the iron doorframe

“Sure, he is.” Robert took a sip of hot-sauce-cocktail.

 

“What should we do?” Amelia looked in the direction of the unidentified body (unidentified by them anyway, we know it was Oscar)

“Someone should head over there and look for clues.” Anna suggested quietly.

A flurry of fingers reached to noses. No one wanted to be “someone”, the unwritten rule being that the last one to touch the nose was the elected person. Normally this sort of the thing was used to select someone to fetch a pizza.

Amelia lost the race by a hair’s width.  

Over the next five minutes Amelia proceeded to have a very eloquent middle-class sulk, before upgrading to a well-spoken tantrum. It was impressively executed over the course of ten minutes. Eventually everyone gracefully agreed that they would all go together.

“Aren’t we going to need to get the car back?” Fongphu glanced up the hill reluctantly.

No body volunteered.

“I’ll go.” Tan rolled his eyes and sighed.

Up that hill he went as the five adults bundled into the car. Luxuries such as moving limbs were suspended and Nabila was free to wriggle and clamber about the vehicle uninterrupted.

Tan is a pretty smart chap. He cast a lazy eye over the earth of the slope, looking for footprints. Alicia and Angphu had not set off any mines, so neither would he. Easy. Further up the slope he realised that neither individual had stepped on any of the abundant molehills.

The mines were all buried underneath freshly dug earth. He grinned triumphantly and picked up the pace.

Work smart and not hard folks. Then you too may become a highly successful lawyer like Tan with assistants to do all of the menial tasks of life for you.

Tan stepped on a bright green patch of freshly laid turf and exploded into a haze of red and flesh coloured mist.

 

“Well.” Amelia commented after an awkward pause. “Looks like we don’t need two cars anymore.” She laughed nervously.

Two booms echoed in the distance, someone apparently having realised that they forgot to set the thing off when Oscar bit the dust.

 

Niamh and Robert looked at each other horrified. They rushed to the door and creaked it open, hoping vainly that Oscar was okay.

In a flash they were back on the conveyor belt. Standing in the shed they experienced the queer sensation that they and the belt stood still while the tunnel travelled backwards around them.

Curious, Robert extended his hand out of the shed.

“Arrgh!” As soon as his fingers were out the shed they were wreathed in electricity. He dragged them back against the force of the current.

Niamh and Robert stared at the fingers and forearm in alarm. It was burned black.

“You know sometin?” Robert said in high and agitated voice. “This really hurts.”

 

Nabila was licking the window when bright lights shone through the glass and the car was once more within the mysterious tunnel.

“We’re on the conveyor belt again, aren’t we?”

“Looks like it.”

“Shall we get out of the car?”

“Could do.” Angphu reached for the door handle, ready to step out into the atmosphere that had roasted Robert’s arm to a charcoal.

 

“Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.” I’ve censored some of Robert’s words here. Truth be told I had to throw away the entire sentence structure, littered as it was with vibrant cursing and imaginative obscenity.

He feinted from the pain, his enormous frame crashing onto the floor. Niamh stared at him terrified.

 

“Hey, there’s a bicycle out there.” Tan had spotted an abandoned bike lyingon its side travelling on the belt beside them. The wheels were covered in a melted tar that might once have been rubber and a thin charcoal-scarecrow appeared to lying on its side, as if mounted on the bike saddle.

“I’m going to check it out.” Angphu grabbed the door handle.

 

“Robert?” Niamh shook the shoulder of the giant.

He was pale and his soul seemed to be slipping away from his tortured body to the great unknown.

“Stay.” Niamh murmured.

The soul paused on its way to glorious heaven. It hesitated uncertainly.

“Stay,” She whispered once more.

The soul slipped back into the body and Robert took a deep gasping breath.

 

Click

Angphu opened the door.

The door refused to open.

“What?” Angphu frowned at the door handle.

Click. Click.

“Nabila.” Tan scolded her child. “Stop playing with the car lock.”

Click. Click. The young one ignored her mother, knowing that Mummy did not always have the energy to enforce her boring rules.

“D****t Nabila. Do as you are told!”

Click, click. She continued to pull the lock up and push it down again.

The adults in the car tried to squirm around in their seats trying to grab the toddler. The toddler continued to play with her new click-making fun time toy, accidently saving everyone’s life in the process.

 

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.” A rich and deep sports announcer’s voice sounded out in the new location. “WELCOME TO THE DANCE ARENA!”

The Anderson shelter was on a wide and circular platform. The occupants of the car were climbing out; their vehicle was on another identical platform twenty feet away. They were in a stadium; thousands of hollow metal figures were surrounding them on rising seats. A low-quality cheer of support roared out from blaring speakers. Their waving arms and blank copper faces formed a grotesque parody of human supporters.

Strobe lighting flashed between the friends and the empty spectators.

A pole rose from the ground between the two groups with a metal circle mounted at its peak. Like the prongs of a ships wheel thirty-six firework rockets jutted out facing all corners of the arena. The whole thing began to spin and two missiles flew out to explode terrifyingly close to the friends.

A wild and rising beat came from the middle of the rockets, an electric rhythm racing to keep pace with the drums. The volume rose until the roar of the crowd was nothing. The climax arrived and then the drop - where a recorded voice sang shrilly, loud as thunder.

“EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!”

 
 
 

This story will be continued in “The Hangry Games; part three!”