Elias and the three orphans

“I help my brother get ready for school. I am the only family he has left” Elias said in a quivering voice. Narrating his condition was harder than he thought it was going to be, still a teenager but forced to grow up.

Omar sipped his morning coffee as Elias spoke. His brain benefiting from the sudden boost of caffeine, burst through his memories of days of shelling around his home in Syria. Looking out the window from his fifty third floor in his office building, the neatly paved streets with miniaturized cars and humans turned into smoke, dust and chaos. Screams of men, women and children deaf to the ears of strikers above. He could envision Elias in the middle of the rubble, covered in soot. His eyes wandering in all directions with desperation, finally locking vision with Omar. The sadness in Elias’ voice reminded Omar of his sister, who took care of him just like Elias took care of his brother.

“To not know where we will be tomorrow” Elias responded when asked what was most difficult about his life.

Although Felipe was not fully aware of Elias’ story he knew exactly what Elias was going through. He knew what it felt like to be separated from parents. He too grew up alone, not knowing where he was going to end up. Having a little brother would have been nice, Felipe thought. At least, Elias has someone to talk to, something to look forward to. Felipe was a victim just like Elias, separated from his parents, being the in the wrong time and wrong place. Felipe’s parents chose to cross a border when he was just three. During a time when human sacrifice for political gain was rampant. Since then he had been running, in more ways than one. Elias’ voice made him slow down. He pulled out his head phones and bent down to catch his breath.

“Become an NBA player” Elias ambitiously answered when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up.

Danielle had dreams too. Ambitions to become a doctor, all crushed by her alcoholic uncle. She was also forced to grow up, to stand up for herself. Her childhood mostly haunted by chronic physical and mental abuse by the only person whom she could call a relative. She, like Elias, never had a regular childhood. When she was supposed to be packing books and lunch for school, she could only yearningly look out her window at the loving mothers and fathers dropping their kids in Rosa Parks Elementary, saying goodbyes like they were the last. Putting her lofty ambitions to rest, she quietly accepted what little life gave her. Even if Elias was strong enough to beat all the odds of a traumatic childhood, his aspirations would be weighed down by discrimination in every step of his life, she was sure.

“HOOOONNK!!”

Danielle jumped realizing she had slipped over to the next lane. After she regained composure, she turned up the volume.

“From one foster home to another, Elias and his brother still struggle to find a place they can call home” Susan ended her report.

“Thank you, Susan. We apologize to our listeners for not being able to air the first few minutes of this segment due to technical difficulties” announced the news anchor articulately.

“We will repeat the interview again tonight from our Washington correspondent covering the heartbreaking story of Elias who was orphaned after his white supremacist parents, died after a cocaine overdose”

Author's Note

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Reviews

[Akshay Rawal]

Great work, Mashoosh. Like all your tales, this too has an element of surprise in it. I was thinking of Elias as the kid in Syria, in rubble and surviving some attack, but it turned out to be the Omar. I agree with the previous review as the narrative can come off as a bit perplexing but it actually appeals to your way of trying things differently and on second reading, you can make sense of who these people are.

I think this piece gives a very strangely fresh experience. To a reader who invests into reading short stories, this is a treat. It has the very important element of making the reader churn their brains and figure out the setting. Adding explanations would make the narrative duller.

I honestly figured out the plot before I read your summary in the below review. This is good work and I'd urge you to keep your style of story telling. The quality shouldn't be compromised too much in order to commercialize the writing.

Thanks, liked this piece, like always.
Akshay

[Mashoosh Kateb]

Thank you for the review akshay. Glad you looked it

[roarke]

Over all I like the story and perspective. Although I'm confused in the first half who everyone is and how they are related. I think it might help to set the "interview scene" first and what the interview is for. The last sentence really throws me as a reader. I know there is some juxtaposition or analogy here, but again I'm not sure where it all fits into your narrative sequence. An interesting story worth working on.

[Mashoosh Kateb]

Thanks roarke. I think I may be asking too much out of my readers in not setting up the background. My position was this...a radio program comes on and 3 individuals catch part of that story and relate this story to themselves but Elias though became an orphan comes from a completely different background. The sympathy is real but left it open how they will feel about Elias as they now know that he is not from their community