First of all: welcome back! I'm glad to see that you found the time and/or will to do some writing again.
It's a great poem too, I especially loved the last line. At first I thought it might have been about someone who didn't have a home, or at least not a nice one, envying the people who do, but it's just that they are on the way home.
One small suggestion: You might want to change "from neck to knees" to "from my neck to my knees". I feel like that would improve the flow, but maybe that's just me.
Anyway, great work, glad to see you wrote something again.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Hey man, thanks for the welcome back xD
That sounds like a fair suggestion, never rea.. read moreHey man, thanks for the welcome back xD
That sounds like a fair suggestion, never really though of it though.
Thanks for your "immer wieder tolle", as the Germans would say, review xd
This poem warms my heart--no pun intended. I really love the way you can paint a picture very vividly and then send it all home with a very strong, yet sometimes deceptively simple message. Thank you so much for sharing, it is truly a treat to get to read your work.
First of all: welcome back! I'm glad to see that you found the time and/or will to do some writing again.
It's a great poem too, I especially loved the last line. At first I thought it might have been about someone who didn't have a home, or at least not a nice one, envying the people who do, but it's just that they are on the way home.
One small suggestion: You might want to change "from neck to knees" to "from my neck to my knees". I feel like that would improve the flow, but maybe that's just me.
Anyway, great work, glad to see you wrote something again.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Hey man, thanks for the welcome back xD
That sounds like a fair suggestion, never rea.. read moreHey man, thanks for the welcome back xD
That sounds like a fair suggestion, never really though of it though.
Thanks for your "immer wieder tolle", as the Germans would say, review xd
My name is T, I'm 17 years old and I live in the Netherlands, and I want to share my stories with others. I'm in no way a professional writer, I just write what feels good. I'd like feedback from othe.. more..