Chapter 3: A Dangerous reunion

Chapter 3 of my story called 'The Third Night'.

3

 

Suddenly my eyes fell on the empty ceiling of my room, the hallway had disappeared. Still stunned by what I had seen in my nightmare, I was trying to adjust my eyes to the bright sunlight that entered my room through the partly transparent curtains. I couldn’t incite myself to move or do anything besides staring at the plain white ceiling above me.

 

Then, finally, I slowly started recovering from the shock. I assumed it was late in the morning, as the sun was already shining brightly, but my alarm clock threw my theory out of the window, as it was only 8:30 am.

 

Suddenly, the sound of the ringing phone downstairs reached my ears, which incited me to quickly get up and run down the stairs. I was hoping that the person on the other end of the line wouldn’t put back his receiver at its place, and thus giving up on calling me. I commanded my legs to run down the stairs as fast as they could while my heart was pumping blood to ensure all of my organs were supplied with enough oxygen and nutrients.

 

Fortunately I reached the receiver in time to pick it up. My hand reached for the receiver, and as I brought it closer to my ears, I heard a young, masculine voice on the other end of the line. “Hello?” I said hesitant. A few moments of silence. “Hey there, Alex, is that you? I was wondering, maybe we could go out and play together today at the playground further down the road?” I recognized Chris' voice. Ironic, he didn’t know yet that it was actually me on the phone. Besides that, he hadn't even mentioned his name. “Sure, great idea!” I answered cheerfully. Another moment of silence. “Great! See you there!” The sound of his voice disappeared and was replaced by the beeping sound of the phone.

 

I was surprised by his early call, since it was only about 8:45 in the morning. Well, it’s Chris, he had always been unpredictable. That’s kind of what I admired about him: the fact that he wasn’t stuck to thinking about everything, all day long.

 

I quickly stuffed some sandwiches in my mouth and put on my plain white T-shirt and my green shorts. I was wondering where my parents were hanging out, but I presumed they were at work. Then, all of a sudden, my brain was struck by a great idea. I decided to bring the book with me. Chris would probably love the book.

 

No sooner said than done, I quickly ran up and down the stairs, opened the front door and left the house, on my way to Chris.

 

Even though the sun had been shining for only a few hours yet, it was emitting an intense heat. I forgot to lubricate myself with some sunscreen, though, and additionally I had to watch out I wouldn’t get sunburnt. It was only a few hundred meters walking to the playground, so the sun wasn’t really problematic.

 

As soon as the playground came into sight, my eyes started looking for Chris, which only took a few seconds after seeing him dangling back and forth on one of the rusted swings. His eyes were focussed on the sandy surface just below his feet, and therefore he hadn’t seen me yet. I approached him and without uttering a single word I sat down at the swing next to his. Chris turned his head toward me, but he still remained silent. That’s what we, Chris and I, always had, this kind of non-verbal communication. I loved it.

 

Chris broke the silence after a few moments. “What have you brought with you?” He asked, while looking at the book. I decided to leave out the fact that my mother read it for me. “I read this book at home, it’s a book about a brave knight, whose destiny is to save the life of others.” I noticed a sparkle of excitement in his brown eyes.

 

I was about to tell him more, but then my eyes fell on two young people, two boys to be exact. They didn’t seem to be really polite, so I quickly averted my eyes, hoping they hadn’t seen me.

 

Unfortunately the sound of a masculine voice reached my ears. “Well, look at what the cat dragged in!” I kept my eyes focused on the book as if nothing was happening to hide my fear. 

 

I heard Chris standing up from his seat, which convinced me to stand up also. I tried to look intimidating, like bears do when they’re preparing for a fight. Unfortunately it didn’t really work out, since I wasn’t muscular in any way. I showed no emotion, even though I was really scared.

 

One of them came closer. My eyes scanned him from top to bottom. Rather tall, black skinny jeans with a dark brown belt, black T-shirt with a large skull drawn on it, short cropped brown hair, brown eyes. Classic look for a classic bully.

 

“Well, well. It’s been a long time, isn’t it, Chris?” He said, while looking at Chris. Chris was standing still, arms crossed and a deep frown on his forehead. I decided to imitate him: arms crossed, deep frown. He suddenly turned his head to me. “And who’s your fella over here?” I looked him into the eyes; a glimpse of pain and insecurity.

 

The other one joined him, smiling evilly. He was shorter, though still taller than we were, and rather fat. His head was covered with disgusting long blond hair, almost reaching his broad shoulders. It was two versus two now.

 

A rather long moment of silence. Nobody said anything, the atmosphere was tense. It seemed like time had reached a standstill.

 

“Are you going to say anything, or do I have to make you?” The tall one said, breaking the silence. “Yeah, or we’ll make you!” The fat one added. The fat one seemed to be the sidekick of the tall one, like a bad guy with his companion. “Better not” Chris said irritated. The tall one came even closer, now only one meter removed from us. “I don’t like this kind of behavior, little scoundrel. Please adjust your tone.” I just felt like screaming and running away, giving in to my fear. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t just desert Chris.

 

He suddenly turned his head to me once again, giving up on intimidating Chris. “Nice book you’ve got there. May I see it for a moment?” I shook my head, indicating I didn’t let him. Stay strong, stay strong, I said to myself. A devious smile appeared on his face. “Please? I promise I won’t damage it. I’m a man of my word, ain’t I, Josh?” Apparently the fat one was called Josh. Josh nodded heavily, apparently not doubting the words of his master.

 

“You’re not allowed to see anything!” Chris yelled at him, kind of scaring me with his sudden action. The tall one raised his fist, ready to fight. I had to do something before this situation changed into a fight. What do I do?

 

“It’s enough, Tyler. We’ll spare them this time.” Josh said, while pulling him back. I noticed a glimpse of doubt, a glimpse of insecurity in Josh’s eyes. I hadn’t expected he would stop Tyler from actually attacking Chris.

 

“It’s enough when I say it’s enough, you understand that?” Tyler said angrily, looking furiously at Josh. Josh backed off, casting some fear on his face. I actually felt a bit sorry for Josh. Being afraid of your own friend shouldn’t be normal.

 

 “We’ve been wasting enough time on these scoundrels. Come on, Josh, we’re out of here.” Tyler turned his back to us, commanding Josh to follow him. I watched them as they were moving further away from us, and eventually disappearing from our sight. The tension was still there, even though the scene had already ended. I was speechless.   

Author's Note

A rather long chapter. Hope you enjoy it anyway :)
Please let me know what you think :)
All suggestions are welcome.

Reviews

[monkeyS]

I really enjoy reading your stories and admire you for writing in English, even though it's not your first language. I know I could never write a whole story in English, 'cause I would make lots of mistakes :p
I really like how you are able to explain the feelings of the story so well.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
Keep up the good work :)

[Zyle Christian William Cook]

I second this!

[Zyle Christian William ..]

I cannot believe that English is not your first language You do such a wonderful job! A few spelling errors I noticed along the way, recognizes should be recognized in paragraph 4.

Otherwise great creation of tension! I love how you are developing their relationship and itn't it wonderful when you have someone who you don't need to share words with to feel comfortable? I love those people in my life. They are a treasure!

[Mister T.]

If you were wondering, my first language is Dutch, but English is a much more 'enjoyable' language in my opinion. I even have a higher mark for English than I have for Dutch at school xD

Glad you enjoyed it :)
I'll fix that error

[Zyle Christian William Cook]

haha That is an interesting thing of note I would love to talk more to you about!

[Lavorther]

You capture the danger and tense atmosphere much better than in the previous version. You can really feel the seconds tick by, everyone waiting to see what the others would do.

I noticed a little problem with the time:
The protagonist wakes up and looks at his alarm clock, which shows 8:30.
Then the phone goes, apparently soon after.
He runs downstairs, picks up the phone and has a short conversation with Chris.
Then he mentions it is around 9:00.

It sounds almost impossible that all this took as long as 30 minutes. My guess would be about 5-10, based on the events and the words used to describe it. So either you need to adjust the times, or add some words to make it seem like it lasted longer. Maybe say that he checked his alarm clock, went back to staring at the ceiling and then after a while the phone rang, for example.

Then I also notice a small mistake here:
"Chris turned his head toward, but he still remained silent."
It seems you forgot a "me" after "toward".

Other than that, great chapter. You're doing a great job with your rewrite, keep it up!

[Mister T.]

Oh, yeah, I must have messed with the time there. Going to fix that.
Thank you for your review!