Prelude to War-A Point Where it Tips.

One of the moments in time that played into the events of the coming War of Seasons.

The Uprising Has Been Quelled.

The World Still Shakes.

But Today is a Celebration

And Acknowledgment of Accomplishment.

 

Two Months after the Vacuo Uprising
Graduation Day for Team NEMN and Team JCTB

 

 

 

 

            “….Miles Watson.  Scarlet Whitehall.  Coral Windinaur.”  Professor Ozpin continued to read off the names of the students graduating from Beacon Academy.  Miles walked across the stage to receive his diploma and official Huntsman license from Professor Port.  He then proceeded to sit back down with the rest of his teammates.  He was excited to graduate.  After Professor Ozpin told him that he couldn’t graduate early to help Blake out in Vacuo during the uprising, he had been counting down the seconds until he finally got his professional license.  As the last people walked across the stage, Professor Ozpin cleared his throat and said a few words.

            “In my many, many, many years of teaching, I have seen many students come through this academy.  Some were your own parents.  And their parents before them and so on and so forth.”  The audience chuckled at this, given the fact that Professor Ozpin’s immortality was now common knowledge amongst the four kingdoms.
            “But none of those students had to face the trials that the students here today had to deal with.  Some of you were part of the great battle with Cinder Fall before you were even students here.  Most of you were students during the attack by the Order of the Four Seasons.  And each and every one of you here stood your ground and fought against a darkness never before seen in this world.  I cannot thank you all enough for your courage and sacrifice to help protect this world.”  Professor Ozpin then stepped away from the microphone and quickly bowed with his hand covering his fist, giving the salute of the warrior.  The students stood up and returned the salute as Ozpin returned to the podium.

            “If it were up to me, I would have named all who took part in that conflict Huntsmen and Huntresses on the spot.  But it was essential for you students to keep learning what you could while you were in school.  And I thank you for your commitment to your education.  But with that said, you are now heading out into the real world.  A place that won’t care who you’ve defeated once you are face to face with an enemy.”  Natalie leaned over and whispered into Miles’ ear,
            “I don’t know.  Pretty sure dying and coming back to life trumps just about anything the world could throw at me.”  The two snickered while Professor Ozpin continued to speak.

            “That being said, you have faced many dangers, and know how to defend yourselves and others.  For that, I congratulate you, graduates of Beacon Academy!”  As Ozpin finished his statement, a cheer went up within the crowd as everybody tossed their caps in the air.

 

            As the crowd of graduates slowly made their way out of the auditorium, Miles kept walking out towards the airship docks, smiling as he held his diploma and license tightly in his hand.  Looking out over the sunset, he felt a hand placed on his shoulder.
            “So, still think you have no honor?” Miles turned to see Blake standing there beside him, grinning from ear to ear.  Miles smiled and turned to face Blake.
            “You proved me wrong.  You win.”  The two of them laughed then shared a quick kiss.  Miles then hugged her tightly.

            “Thank you Blake.  You saved me.”  Blake smiled and hugged Miles in return.

            “I’m happy I could help.”  The two of them stayed like that for a few more moments before sitting down on the edge of the docks and continued to watch the sun set.

            “I’m surprised you managed to make it out here” Miles said as he unzipped his graduation gown to cool off.  “Last time we talked you said that you and Sun were super busy day in and day out with helping Vacuo.”
            “We are” Blake said pulling out a water bottle and handing it to Miles, noticing that he seemed thirsty.  “But Sun insisted that I be here today.”
            “Really?” Miles took a drink from the water bottle as he pondered what Blake said.  “I’m surprised.  Sun doesn’t really seem like that kind of guy.”
            “He has his moments.  Plus, I also wanted to offer you a chance to come out and join us.”

            “Is it really that bad out in Vacuo?  I mean I know first hand how bad Vacuo is normally, but this seems a bit extreme.”

            “Well what happened was a bit extreme”  Blake grasped her knees tightly, clearly distressed.  “You weren’t there.  It got really bad.”  Miles felt terrible.  He placed his hand on Blake’s shoulder.

            “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it out there sooner.  I promise I’ll head out after the wedding.”
            “Oh yeah.  I forgot that Nathan and Yang were tying the knot right after graduation.  When’s the ceremony again?”

            “In three days.  Nathan wanted to give people time to breathe after graduation.  It took just about every ounce of energy from everybody to convince him and Yang to not barge into Professor Ozpin’s office and demand that the wedding also take place during graduation today.”  The two of them laughed, but Miles’ smile quickly faded.
            “What’s wrong?” Blake asked leaning over.  “Aren’t you happy for them?”
            “I am.  It’s just that…..” Miles fell silent for a second.  “Never mind.  I’ll deal with it.  For now, let’s find everybody else.  I’m sure they’re looking for me.”  Miles stood up and helped Blake stand up too.  They smiled, took each other’s hand and walked back towards the crowd of happy graduates.

 

 

 

Two Days Later

Nathan’s Bachelor Party/Yang’s Bachelorette Party

 

 

 

            Junior’s club was popping with music and dance.  Everybody there was having a great time.  Nathan and Yang decided that they wanted their parties to be together so that they could have all their friends together in one place.  Junior was not exactly open to having that kind of party at his club, but in Nathan’s words, Yang “made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.”  As the night went on, Miles was sitting at the bar watching everybody have a good time.  Blake was catching up with Ruby, while Yang and Nathan were dancing together.  Natalie and Pyrrha were catching up while Jacob, Ty and Evan were chatting it up with Ren and Nora.  Christy was going over last minute wedding preparations with Jaune and Weiss off to the side away from all the craziness.  Miles was happy to see everybody together again as he took another sip of his soda.  He then noticed Nathan walking over to the bar to get a drink.  As Nathan sat down, he ordered a drink and put a hand on Miles’ shoulder.
            “Hey Miles!”  Nathan said excitedly.  “Why aren’t you dancing with your girlfriend out there?!  Come on!  This is supposed to be a fun night!”
            “I know man.  I know.  It’s just that Blake wanted to catch up with everybody and we both don’t really care about dancing.”
            “Suit yourself” Nathan said taking a quick drink.  “I’m going back out to the dance floor.”  As Nathan stood back up, Miles grabbed his arm.
            “Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

            “Sure thing” Nathan said sitting back down.  “What’s up?”
            “Could we go somewhere more private?”  Nathan looked at Miles weird, but shrugged his shoulders, grabbed his drink and started walking towards the back door.
            “You coming?”  Nathan joked.  Miles sighed and walked out with Nathan.

 

            The cool air felt refreshing compared to the stuffy club.  Nathan leaned up against the wall and took another sip of his drink.

            “So what did you want to talk to me about?  I told you, the fireworks and motorcycle is what Yang and I want for our exit when we leave to go on our honeymoon!”
            “That’s not it Nathan.  At least, not exactly.”  Nathan looked at Miles, slightly confused.
            “What’s wrong man?”  Miles looked at Nathan with a concerned look in his eye.

            “Are you sure you and Yang aren’t moving too fast?”  Nathan looked at Miles, extremely shocked.

            “What are you talking about?” Nathan asked jokingly.  “I mean, we started dating not long after school started so I don’t think a wedding right after school ended is out of the question.  Heck, I think Yang might even be pregnant with our first kid!  How awesome is that!”
            “Wait, what?  Yang might be pregnant already?!”  Miles took a step towards Nathan as he said this.
            “Yeah.  I guess that’s what happens when your fiancée isn’t exactly open to using protection.”
            “Nathan, this is serious!  You might be moving too fast!  You just graduated from school!  You’re getting married tomorrow!  And you might be having a kid before you even have your first paid job!  Are you crazy?!”
            “Relax man!” Nathan said, trying to keep the light tone, but becoming more and more upset.  “Between what Ozpin promised he’d give us for killing the heads of the Order and doing normal everyday jobs for the four kingdoms, we’ll be just fine!”
            “That doesn’t excuse the fact that you two are potentially putting yourselves in a really bad situation!  What if the council decides to cut the money that Ozpin would give you?  What if your child needs more support from both you and Yang than you prepared for?  Where will you guys live?  What about…..”
            “Dude!” Nathan snapped at Miles suddenly.  “What’s with you?  I thought you’d be happy for me and Yang!”
            “I want you to be happy!  But I’m nervous that you guys are going to run into a situation that you aren’t ready for and end up miserable!”
            “So you don’t support us, is that it?  You don’t care about me and Yang at all?!”
            “I just said I want the two of you to be happy you jackwagon!  But I also don’t want you both to make a mistake and have it ruin your happiness!  Or more importantly, potentially the happiness of your child!”
            “What do you care?  It’s our life not yours!  Besides, when we have a kid, that kid will be the happiest kid on the face of the planet!  Who cares if we have a kid within a year?  All that matters…..”
            “My parents had me before they got married!” Miles yelled at the top of his lungs.  “And because of that, they always seemed sad!  My birth was such a burden on their lives!  I know they loved me, but I always felt like I was such a problem!  If you’re going to have a kid, I don’t want that child to be a burden on your lives nor do I want that child to think poorly of you because you both are stressed out!”  Nathan punched the wall in anger.

            “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”  he yelled at the top of his lungs.  “I thought you supported me and Yang!  I thought you were our friend!”
            “I am your friend!” Miles yelled back.  “And it’s because I’m your friend that I am telling you that there could be consequences to your actions!”
            “So you don’t support me and Yang then?  Or this child of ours for that matter?”
            “I never said that!  I just think that…..”
            “NO” Nathan yelled and started storming back inside.  “If you don’t support me and Yang, then you can stay out of my life for all I care!”
            “Wait, what?”  Before Miles had time to process what had happened Nathan had already returned inside leaving Mile to just stand outside confused as to what just happened.
            “What the heck is wrong with him?”  Miles ran his fingers through his hair while contemplating everything.  A few minutes later, Natalie walked outside and saw Miles sitting by the door.
            “Hey there you are!  Blake’s been looking for you.”  Natalie turned around to head back inside but then noticed Miles wasn’t moving.  “What’s wrong?”  she asked sitting down next to him.
            “Has Nathan told you about the fact that he and Yang might be having a kid?”
            “Yeah, he told me the other day.  And I assume he just told you?”
            “Yep.  And I am not the biggest fan of it.”
            “Why’s that?  Aren’t you happy for them?”
            “Partially yes, but mostly no.  I feel like they’re moving too fast.  I feel like marriage is one thing, but having a kid so soon could be something that really stresses them out.  I just don’t want them to be struggling like my parents were.  Problem is, your brother interpreted it as I don’t support him and Yang with complete and utter blind loyalty so he told me to stay out of his life.”  Natalie sighed after hearing that explanation and leaned back on the wall.
            “Look, I know things are going pretty quickly.  And I will admit, this does raise some questions about what the future holds for the two of them, but it does make sense to me why he is so open to the idea of having a kid so soon.”
            “How do you figure?”
            “Well, ever since we lost our family back in Aequo, Nathan’s always seemed like he needed something to keep himself together.  And for a while, that was our family and Ember.  But after losing everyone except me, he hasn’t really had anybody to fill that hole until Yang came along, and I feel like with this child on the way, that will be something else for him to hold on to.  So while I do agree with you there might be issues in this whole journey and that he shouldn’t have snapped at you, I still think this might be the best thing for Nathan going forward.”  Miles contemplated this for a second, stood up and opened the door to head back inside.
            “I’m still not on board with the idea, but I do think I should try to apologize to him.”
            “Why?  You didn’t really do anything wrong.”
            “Probably not.  But still, for the sake of keeping this friendship alive, I will take steps forward to try and keep it that way.  Even if it isn’t my fault.”  Miles then headed back inside leaving Natalie alone.  She stood up and opened the door to re-enter the club.
            “I hope you both know what you’re doing.”

 

 

 

Apologies are Given and Accepted
A Bond Between Two In Love is Celebrated

On the Surface, Things Look Normal

But a Rift Has Been Born

Will it Hold Itself Together?
Or Will it Rip Along the Passage of Time?

Author's Note

Please read/review/enjoy!

Reviews

[JayG]

In this chapter alone, you have 39 exclamation point, which is more than most writers place in an entire novel.

Here's the thing: The excitement belongs in your story, NOT your punctuation. You're trying to make the story SOUND exciting. But because we know only what a dispassionate narrator reports, and not what matters to the protagonist in the moment he calls "now," we know what he does, yes, but not what went into his decision to act. Isn't he supposed to be our avatar? Aren't we supposed to cheer for him? How can we do that if we know him only though what an external narrator tells us about him. Unless we know how he views the situation, as he's making his decisions, how can we know him?

In general, and throughout, you're reporting and explaining, a technique you learned in your school-days. Great for nonfiction, such as the essays and papers that most employers ask of us, but worthless for fiction because it's as exciting to read as any other report or history.

Story LIVES. And it lives in real-time. It's not explained by a narrator the reader can neither see nor hear. History books are BORING. They shouldn't be because they have all the elements of fiction, but they are, because they're dispassionate and lack the uncertainty a reader feeds on. We can't worry about your characters because they're like automatons. They recite their assigned lines, and do what the script says to do. Their behavior is immutable because we aren't on the scene with them, and reacting to what happens. Instead, a narrator, sitting comfortably somewhere unknown explains what happened. They can stop, go and get coffee, and resume, and nothing is lost. The protagonist doesn't have that luxury. They, like you, must handle life as it comes, from within the moment we call "now." For us, and for the protagonist time is passing, and situations must be reacted to. For us in life, from waking to the moment of sleep our life is a linked chain of cause and effect that must be handled as it comes at us. Can your character seem real if he's presented in overview—if you show actions for which the reader doesn't know the motivation. Can it seem real if you, someone not on the scene or in the story talk about things the protagonist is ignoring?.

Readers don't want to be told that a certain person feels terror. They want to BECOME that person. They want you to terrorize THEM. They want to be made to care, not just know. They want the scene to feel so real that if someone swings at your protagonist the reader will duck. And reports cannot do that because they are in presented overview, using techniques that are fact-based and author-centric. To make the reader react, and care, you need a set of writing skills that are emotion-based and character-centric—a methodology whose existence wasn't even mentioned during your schooldays.

In this you give the reader no reason to care if the protagonist lives or dies because we don't know him as a person, only as someone whose actions are dispassionately reported from the outside-in. Have your computer read this aloud to hear what the reader gets instead of your voice..

In fact, have your computer read the first chapter. Then have it read a page from history book to see if it, using the same approach to presenting the data as this story, makes you buy that book and read it for yourself. If not, can you expect a different reaction from your readers with the detailed history of fictional peoples? Because it's a bit like your opening section, try this history, beginning partway down the page with The Persian empire.
https://nationalinterest.org/feature/the-5-most-powerful-empires-history-12296

Here's the thing that you, and pretty much every hopeful writer misses: We leave our schooldays exactly as prepared to write fiction as to pilot a commercial airliner. Why? Because ALL professions are acquired IN ADDITION to the general skills we call, The Three R's. Not one of your teachers explained how a scene on the page differs from one on the screen. Not one explained the elements of a scene and explained what they do and why that's necessary. How can you write a scene without knowing what it is and what it does?

You're working hard. You have the desire, and certainly the perseverance. But every reader who might look at your work has been choosing only professionally written and prepared fiction since they learned to read. They've been seeing the result of those professional skills in every story. And though you might have the talent to use those skills well, you're stuck in the situation Mark Twain commented on with, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” You can't fix the problem you don't see as being one and you can't use the tool you don't know exists. And that matters a lot because, as E, L. Doctorow observed, “Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader. Not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.” At the moment, lacking the necessary techniques, you're stuck giving the weather report and trying to make it exciting with bangs at the end of sentences.

You can fix the problem, of course, by applying the skills of the professional fiction writer. But our schooldays didn't provide them, and reading no more teaches us to write than eating teaches us to cook. What you need is to spend some time acquiring your professional skills. The library's fiction-writing section is a gold-mine, and is filled with the views of pros in publishing, teaching, and writing.

Replacing the nonfiction skills that you've practiced for so many years is not an overnight process. But then, no profession is easy to learn, so it's not a big deal.

You might find the articles in my writing blog helpful in getting a feel for how different the methodology of fiction is, and why that must be. But they're not meant to teach you to write, so in the end, you need to go to the pros. My personal suggestion is to pick up a copy of Dwight Swain's, Techniques of the Selling Writer. It's the best I've found at imparting the nuts-and-bolts issues of the why and how.

I know this isn't great news, but on the other hand, knowing what needs fixing is the first step toward fixing it. Lacking that, and being stuck in the outlook of another kind of writing, no matter how hard you try, you're in the position of the man who says, "I don't understand it. No matter how hard I throw the bottle at the wall it still breaks."

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[Shep]

glad I stuck it out. I think you should redo your prolog and cut, cut and delete give idea what might be reading like small history, but nothing else, this was far better read then opening. Please return the love it makes our work better.

[Miles W.]

Thanks for the review! I'll definitely take what you said about the intro with the Prelude into account when I go back and do my big revision once I finish this book, the trick is that this book is a sequel to another story I have written before, so to me, the first prologue before this one serves as a bridge between the two stories. But like I said, I will take into account what you mentioned. Thanks for the review!