Streets we once walked

 The leaves are falling

From the trees,

They are reluctant,

Like soldiers returning

To the front –

They fall on a landscape

And will never return –

 

The oak is weary,

The ash is tired –

Clothes that have been

Tucked away

Neatly in drawers

Are removed from the

Base of their pile,

To insulate their owners

From the sudden change

In weather –

 

The windows and doors

Of the local pubs,

Are now firmly closed.

The doorstops redundant

The drinker’s tans fade –

They chat about next year’s

Two week break –

 

I used to walk these streets

With her,

In moments free of confusion –

In time frames exempt

From the violence,

Violence that ultimately

Drove her away –

 

This change in the weather

Is more than welcome,

It’ll do me good –

It’ll keep me in doors –

It will stem the arms

Of my insecurities,

Place an emotional dam

Across my river of anger –

 

I look at my hands,

At my bruised knuckles

Attained from a petty

Brawl –

This proves,

That she was undoubtedly right

To move on –

 

The constant need

For self annihilation,

My incessant urge

To drink myself senseless,

To argue with a stranger

To scream at friends

And family,

To accuse her of silly

Actions I knew never to

Be true –

All these things –

All these things

Merely helped her –

To make her decision…

 

That she’s best off

Without me,

It’ll never work out –

She’s better off on

Her own –

Will I never calm down?