I Can Recall

 I can recall a time

A time that looking back on

Was a period of violence,

Aggression and fear

A time that lingers in my past

Like an old senile relative

Who causes embarrassment and shame

And yet you feel intrinsically drawn to.

 

I can recall a time

When I wouldn’t leave the house

Without an iron bar

Placed strategically up my sleeve

Or without a small rubber cosh

Slipped inside my coat pocket

Or even a small blunt knife

You know, just in case….

 

I can recall a time

When I kicked a lads face

So hard, his features exploded on

My trainer, and the

Back of his head, opened up

Against a solid brick wall.

 

I can recall a time

When every corner I turned

Was a corner of hidden consequences

When cars would slowly trawl

Behind me, the four blokes inside

Intent on giving me a hiding.

 

I can recall a time

When using alley ways and

Dark pathways, was my cloak

For survival, were my props of

Survival, hidden in the blackness

From the trouble that stalked me.

 

I can recall a time

When I cracked a skull

With a dog chain

And my victim fell to the ground

Like an assassinated president,

Writhing like an eel

Shaking like a paraplegic.

 

I can recall a time

When the sharp edge of

A broken bottle,

Glistened under a street light

And opened my stomach

Into several lacerations,

And because I was disinclined

To get my arse up the hospital

Due to the possibility of police

Involvement, I staggered home

Got hold of some surgical spirit

And tipped the bottle’s contents

Onto my open wounds

And heard my flesh cackle

And sizzle, like frying bacon…

 

I can recall…