Untitled

Alec's life has been a constant party,then this beautiful girl walks in and leaves him questioning not only who he is but what he wants for the rest of his life.

                I thought I knew everything, I really did. I walked around with my head so far up my a*s it’s a wonder I didn’t miss her. She came into my life suddenly and simply at the same time. She rocked my world like waves rock a ship, and I love her. Since the moment we met nothing else matters.

                I was late to class again. I bump into girl after girl and don’t even care about where I’m suppose to be heading. I’m teachers pet anyways so I know I’ll get away with it. Ms. Mendel thinks I’m cute, I use it to my advantage.

                Amber is head cheerleader of the varsity squad and she’s chatting away at me. I try to keep my attention on her but can’t when Linda, the soccer captain, passes by in the shortest skirt possible to wear at school. I give her a wink and lick my lips as she giggles. Amber smacks me, seeing that my attention has shifted.

                “That’s why I can’t be your girlfriend Alec!” Her nostrils are flaring.

                “I’m sorry baby girl, I can’t help myself.” I try to take her hand but she pulls away.

                “No way Alec, you’re cute but I’m late to class so I’ll see you at lunch.”

                “I thought we were going to hook up in my car today?” she rolls her eyes and walks away.

                I stand there and shrug. Blue balls. Amber wants this to be a boyfriend �" girlfriend relationship, but I just don’t know. There’s too many offers being handed to me that I’m not sure I can pass up. most of the guys here hate me. I own Cathedral High School and everyone knows it. Every single girl here knows me, and every single one drools over me.

                Want to know the funny thing? I’m not really a guy, well at least not yet. I’m an FTM( female to male). I’ve just started my transition last year and soon to be on testosterone (I hope). Before that I was the big lesbian of the school. Strangely enough all the lesbian girls still want me. The strangest thing of all is the straight chicks want me even more, so the “real” guys hate me cause I don’t even have a real dick.

                The bell rings as I start walking to class but I shrug it off. I walk into class to find a substitute. He glares at me as some guys in the back high five each other. I’m in deep s**t. The sub pulls out the attendance sheet and my heart sinks. My name hasn’t legally changed, and I sound like a guy.

                “What’s your name?” He glares at me as everyone holds their breath.

                “Um…Erica Martin.” Crap. My voice is deep, I’ve gotten so use to using my deep voice.

                “Excuse me?” He looks from my hat, to my polo, to my biceps, to my cargo shorts right down to my hairy muscular legs.

                “My name is Erica Martin on the roster.” I sigh as some guys laugh and the girls look on scared.

                “Do I look stupid to you?”

                “No sir, but that’s my name on the roster.” His glare is tearing into me.

                “You’re a boy not a girl so cut the crap.” I want to smile at his comment but this could go bad.

                “Sir… I need to explain. Can we talk outside?”

                “No, I don’t have time for your bull. I’m calling security.” S**t. Here we go.

                “Sir you don’t have to do that. Just let me explain.” I move towards him as he dials.

                “Stop. Don’t you dare come closer!” He talks into the phone and I sigh.

                “Sir I’m a transsexual.” I can hear the guys in the back yell out queer.

                “You sick f**k.” He drops the receiver and backs away from me.

                “Sir look…” I step closer to pick up the receiver and he lunges at me. I react by lifting him over my shoulder. The girls scream and the guys laugh. F**k. I’m in deep s**t.

                Security runs in and looks from the sub to me. I sigh and walk out of the class as they help him up. I’m going to be in so much s**t for this one. Last time this happened I just cussed out the sub, now I flipped one onto the floor. Great.

                The securities do a quick search on me and cuff me. I know them both well. Armando and Roger. They’re like my buddies I’ve known them since my freshmen year and they’re totally cool with me.

                “What happened bro?” Roger stays quiet as he’s the more serious one.

                “He called me a sick f**k dude.” They lead me to the principals office.

                “Oh we heard that bro, so we ran.” Roger nods.

                “He lunged at me dude. I was picking up the receiver.” Armando laughs and pats my back.

                “Bro you keep getting into some crazy s**t. You sure this is worth it?”

                “Hell yeah dude.” I feel my phone going off, Amber probably heard what happened by now.

                “You look good bro, starting to sound like a man now.” All three of us laugh as we reach the office.

                They cuff me to the chair and start filling out the report. I look around saying hi to all the office girls. They giggle my way. The guys say bye and head off to stop a reported fight. I try to get comfortable.

                The main secretary, Ms. Ryde, takes a seat on my lap, right on my softie (fake dick). She leans into me and smiles. I don’t say anything as her hand slides up my leg and gropes my dick. She wants me to pound the f**k out of her and I want to do it. My hards on’s in the car, I’m always ready.

                “Why are you such a bad boy Alec?” She’s stroking my dick slowly, I can’t help but lick my lips.

                “Cause you like it mami.” I wink at her as a girl comes walking in.

                She blushes and turns to head out as Ms. Ryde jumps off my lap. I wonder who that girl is, she must be new. I know all the girls even the freshmen. Ms. Ryde coaxes her back in and rushes to sit back at her desk. They talk for a bit before she takes a seat next to me.

                She’s beautiful. Brown eyes, curled brown hair. She’s got a nice body, not skinny but curvy. Hot. I look over her button up shirt and not too tight jeans. She’s wearing an old pair of green converse. I like this girl.

                I look her over smiling while she avoids my eyes. She’s reading over the paper in her hand. I bite my lip, keeping my eyes locked on her. She shifts in her seat and sighs as she sets the paper down on the chair next to her. She looks up at me and our eyes lock. I swear I stop breathing  and I can’t even think. She blushes and looks down. This girl just made me feel really weird, really warm. I come back to Earth and try to scoot over into the chair between us but I remember that I’m handcuffed and sigh. She keeps her eyes away from me. I feel dizzy.

                “Hey…” My deep voice fills the room.

                “Hi…” She looks up at me shyly.

                “I’m Alec.” I try to extend my hand towards her but can’t, she reaches over,  takes it and shakes it.

                “Lilian Marez.” She blushes and sits up to look at me.

                “Alec Martin, sorry.” We laugh as I blush. I never blush.

                “That’s a cute name. Alec. I like it.” She smiles and I just blush more.

                “Thanks.” Ms. Ryde’s glaring at us, she’s so jealous.

                “No problem. You’re quite the ladies man.”

                “I…I don’t ask for it, they just kind of throw themselves at me.” I look away from her ashamed.

                “Well you’re good looking, I’ll admit that.” I blush even more and look back at her, she’s smiling.

                “Where are you from?”

                “I just moved here from Denton.” She smiles at me, and I smile back.

                “So you came to El Paso?” I snicker as she laughs.

                “My dad’s job moved us over here. Big promotion and everything.”

                “Cool. So what grade are you?” I’m really interested in this girl.

                “I’m a junior. I got bumped a grade.” She blushes.

                “That’s awesome. I like a smart girl.”

                “And I like a bad girl.” I stare at her confused as she smiles.

                “Your…” The principals door slams open and we both turn our attention to the door as the principal comes walking out.

                Her hairs slicked back into a ponytail, she’s wearing a black pant suit like always and heels. She adjusts her glasses and looks from me to Lilian rolling her eyes. She steps forward and takes the handcuffs off me. I thank her and take my seat again.

                “Alec we all support what are you’re doing and we’ve done everything to help you in your transition, but you can’t cause problems.” She looks at me sternly.

                “He called me a sick f**k.” Lilian pretends to mind her own business.

                “Alec next time just come to my office, ok? She looks into my eyes and I sigh.

                “Fine.”

                “Good boy.” She squeezes my shoulder and takes Lilian’s paperwork.

                Lilian smiles at me as Ms. Heid reads over her papers. I smile back, embarrassed that this is how she had to meet me. Ms. Heid turns her attention to Lilian, welcoming her to this piece of crap school. I mind my own business as they talk. I wonder what Lilian thinks of me. I wonder if she likes me.

                “Alec.” I come back to reality as Ms. Heid breaks the silence.

                “Yeah?” I look up at Lilian and Ms. Heid confused.

                “Excuse me?” Ms. Heid throws me a stern look, Lilian giggles.

                “Sorry. Yes ma’am?” I blush from embarrassment, my eyes on Lilian.

                “Thank you. I need you to take Lilian to her first class please. Stay there with Mrs. Reyner, you’re in her class now. Ms. ____ Is not going to be retuning this year so I need to keep you out of trouble.” I get up slowly, a million feelings are rushing through me.

                Ms. Heid pushes Lilian and myself towards the door. I let Lilian out first and follow behind her. She waits for me to catch up and I lead her down the hall. I walk slowly, I want to spend some time with her. She doesn’t seem to mind though, she keeps on smiling.

                “Is she nice?” Her voice cuts the silence easily and softly.

                “Who? Mrs. Reyner?” I stare into her beautiful brown eyes, her smile giving me butterflies.

                “Yup.” She nods and I smile.

                “She’s fun. Easy. Really nice lady too.”

                “You had her before?”

                I nod. “My freshmen and sophomore year. She kept me with her because she considered me one of her favorites.”

                “Oh really? You must be a nerd or something huh cool guy.” She nudges me playfully as we climb the stairs to the second floor.

                “I might be in the Top 5.” I playfully stick my tongue out at her and wink, she giggles.

                “Top 5 in the class or top 5 percent?”

                “Top 5 in the class.” I smile at her proudly.

                “Wow. Smart guy, I like.” She winks at me and I blush.

                “You like smart guys huh?” I take one of her books and playfully begin to read it.

                “Well I prefer smart girls.” She takes her book back as I’m taken back.

                “Oh.” This sucks! This is girl is awesome but now I can’t have her because I’m trying to get a dick. Great.

                She nods as we reach the class. I open the door and let her go first. Everyone turns to look at us as Mrs. Reyner pauses. She smiles and coaxes us in. I take a seat in front right next to Lilian. She blush as Mrs. Reyner welcomes her and the class says hi.

                “Well, well Alec. I’ve missed you.” Mrs. Reyner smiles at me as she approaches my desk.

                “I’ve missed you too baby doll.” I wink at her as the girls in the class roll their eyes.

                “Oh Alec! I’m married so please control yourself.” She hits my shoulder playfully as I lick my lips.

                “I like em older ma’am.” I wink at her and Lilian looks at me with a weird expression.

                “Hush Alec! You’re such a bad boy.” She blushes and winks at me heading back to the board.

                She continues with the lecture on a research paper we are to do. I sit there quietly as everyone begins taking notes. I keep my eyes on Lilian, watching her calmly take notes on the research paper. She smiles at me seeing me from the corner of her eye. I blush and look away from her.

                Mrs. Reyner passes out the list of topics and a how to write our paper sheet. She instructs us to choose a topic and begin jotting down ideas. She takes her seat and I snap back into reality as the chairs begin to move. Lilian’s talking to the girls next to her and Mrs. Reyner is working away at her computer. Almost all of the girls in the class surround me, Lilian loks from me to them confused.       

                “Alec be my partner please?” Lily, a nobody, batts her eyelashes at me.

                “What?” I have no idea what’s going on, I look to Lilian confused.

                “For the research paper! Hello we need a partner!” I blush and look around me.

                All the girls begin pleading with me to be their partner. I want to be with Lilian. She smiles at me innocently. Mrs. Reyner moves the girls away from me and sends them all back to their seats. Thank god.

                “Alec why don’t you and Lilian work together?” she smiles at us as all the girls scream out a “no” and “that’s not fair”.

                I cant help but smile and nod as Lilian scoots her desk closer to mine. Mrs. Reyne heads to the back to get people paired up and to make the girls quit their whinning. I know the guys are pissed that all the girls ran to me, I’m just glad I get to work with Lilian.

                “So what do you want to write about Alec?” Lilian’s smiling at me, I smile back. 

                “Ladies choice.” I hand her the list and she giggles.

                “Youre too sweet. Thank you.” She looks over the list smiling.

                “I try. Crazy girls huh?” she giggles with me as we look back to the girls angrily talking to their partners.

                “Very. You’re so popular. Smart and cute. Sweet and funny. You’re just a girls dream come true.” She smiles at me staring  at my eyes.

                “You’re my dream come true.” What the hell did I just say? Oh crap.

                “Huh?” she looks at me confused as I snap out of my little la la land.

                “I..uh..did you choose a topic?” I pick up the list as if I’m going to look over it.

                “Well I’m really interested in transsexuals.” My heart stops as I look to where she’s pointing.    

                “Um..” How would she react if I told her right now that she’s talking about me?

                “it’s ok if you’re not comfortable with that topic Alec.” She begins scanning over the list again.

                “It’s fine…Look Lilian there’s something I have to tell you..” The bell rings just as I finish.

                Everyone rushes to get their stuff. I scribble my number on a paper and hand it to Lilian. She blushes and takes it putting it safely in her wallet. I get my stuff together and throw it in my backpack. Lilian grabs her things and hands me her schedule. We have two more classes together today. I lead her out to the hallway and head over to the bottom floor.

                “You can call me or text me whenever you want.” She follows closely behind me, trying not to get lost.

                “Thank you Alec. Maybe we can start working on our paper soon?” I nod as she grabs onto my arm so not to get lost. Butterflies are overtaking me.

                I lead her to our next class, pushing people out of the way. Girls are shooting ugly looks at Lilian the whole time, and I know the gossip is going to start soon. Another girl on my arm , another name on the list. I don’t think it’s the same old routine with Lilian. Something about this girl really makes me want to stay put. I’ve never felt this way before when I just meet a girl, but with Lilian it’s like for the first time in my life I’m really alive. It’s like I’m finally breathing and I can finally see the beauty that is the world. Maybe that doesn’t make sense, but it’s difficult to explain how she makes me feel.

                I walk her into her math class with Mr. Leon and tell her that I’ll get her after class is over. She smiles, nods, and hugs me tight. I swear I feel my heart skip a beat and I hug back. I don’t want to let her go but I know everyone’s watching and I’m going to be late. I let go and wink at her as I head out the door. I walk to Ms. Styre’s class thinking about what just happened. This girl has some kind of hold on me and we just met. What could this be?

                Ms. Styre sighs as I walk in late again. I take my seat in the back and mouth a sorry to her as she rolls her eyes and begins to lecture. I pull out a notebook and pen and pretend like I’m going to pay attention. Psychology is an interesting class, don’t get me wrong, but right now my mind is completely with Lilian. I can’t help but hope that she’s thinking about me too. She has such a power over me it’s so amazing.

                I stare at my notebook as Ms. Styre continues her lecture. I hope she doesn’t call on me for something to find that I’m totally distracted. She’ll be shocked to know that I’m not paying attention to her at all right now. I’m her top student and I always know the answer to every single one of her questions. I’ve heard from other teachers how much she brags about me. I honestly swear she has a crush on me though she swears she has a boyfriend, yet she can never tell you his name. I’ve caught her staring at me as I work sometimes, and she always offers me extra help after class as if I need it. I haven’t had anything lower than a 98 in her class all semester long. During the thanksgiving break recently I actually received an e-mail from her telling me that she couldn’t wait to go back to school and see me in class. We can all guess why she’d want to see me so bad.

                The girl in front of me is staring at me intently, I only know this because I can feel her eyes burning a hole through me. I sigh and look up to meet her eyes. She licks her lips and giggles. I sigh and raise my eyebrows at her. She points at my crotch and then to her mouth. The girl next to me giggles and signals that she would like to suck my dick also. Oh joy I’m being offered head in class. I shrug and wink at them. They giggle and high five each other. Am I a piece of a*s now? I feel like such a w***e sometimes. I know I shouldn’t sleep with all these girls I mean honestly I don’t enjoy it, I just do it. I’ve never felt any type of connection with any girl. The girls hand me their numbers and I slip them into my jacket pocket. They smile and blow me kisses, I smile back.

                Ms. Styre writes out our next assignment and I reluctantly write it down. Another essay. I swear every week she has us writing at least 3 essays. She must be lonely. I shove my notebook in my backpack and sit back waiting for the bell to ring while everyone else begins working on their paper. I want to go get Lilian already. We have lunch next and I guess I’m hoping she’s going to join me for lunch. I don’t even care if Amber gets pissed off, I’d rather spend lunch talking to Lilian than dealing with Amber’s bitching about how I should just be her boyfriend and be totally devoted to her cause she’s so perfect and I’ll never find better. She’s one conceited b***h.

                The bell finally rings and I grab my backpack and head out the door as quick as I can. I can hear Ms. Styre calling after me but I don’t turn back, I head straight to Lilian’s class and see her waiting for me outside. She smiles as I approach and I smile back. It looks like lunch is going to be pretty damn awesome today.

                “Hey you.” I smile as  I finally reach her.

                “Hey Alec. How was class?” She’s blushing, that’s gotta be a good sign.

                “Long and boring. How was yours?”

                “The same. This stuff is way too easy for me!” She sticks her tongue out at me and I laugh.

                “Do you want to have lunch with me?”

                “Well..there’s these two girls in my class and they sort of invited me to sit with them already.” She looks down at her feet and I feel crushed.

                “Oh..well hey that’s cool. You gotta start meeting new people here right?”

                “Alec I really want to have lunch with you, I do. How about I’ll have lunch with you tomorrow?” I shove my hands in my pockets as she stares at me with her beautiful eyes.

                “Yeah..that sounds awesome. Do I meet you somewhere after lunch to walk you to class or..?”

                “No it’s ok the girls said they’ll show me where it is..” She messes with her jacket not looking at me.

                “Great. I guess then I’ll see you in our next period? Um do you want me to walk you to that class?” I’m hoping she says yes.

                “Yes! That would be really great.” She shuffles around in her pocket and shows me which class to get her from, I write it down on my hand as I hear Ambers voice cutting through everyone elses.

                “I’ll get you after next period then. Have a good lunch.” We smile at each other our eyes are locked on each other as if we don’t want to leave.

                “Thank you and you too Alec. I’ll see you soon.” She leans in and kisses my cheek as her two new friends walk out of class urging her to follow.

                She waves bye to me as the two girls turn to each other and begin their gossiping. I hope they don’t f**k things up for me and start telling her all about the s**t they heard about me. I want Lilian to hear everything from me. I really hope they don’t tell her I’m trans, that’s something I want to let her know myself. F**k.

                “Baby!” I feel Amber wrap her arms around me and I snap back to reality.

                “Hey.” I turn to face her as she plants a kiss on my lips, I don’t respond and she immediately pulls back confused.

                “What the f**k? Ok Alec, what the hell is up with you?” Her two best friends are staring me down like dogs.

                “Nothing ma, I’m chill. Wanna hit up my car?” Here we go, back to Alec the pimp of the school.

                “Sure baby.” She giggles and takes my hand pulling me towards the doors.

                “Oh my god Amber that’s all he wants you for! He just wants you for the f*****g sex and I can’t believe you let him!” The tallest of her best friends is glaring at me I swear she’s just jealous cause I never pounded the f**k out of her.

                “Shut up Linda! I can make my own choices ok? And he loves me so yeah butt out!” Amber pulls me outside as her best friends continue to yell at us.

                Amber pulls me towards my car as people look at us already aware of what we’re about to go do. I can’t help but to let myself day dream about Lilian. Amber’s talking but I really can’t hear what she’s saying, I’m tuning her out. We get to my car and Amber fumbles through my pockets for my keys and yanks my door open. I drive a blue 2009 Honda Civic. It’s got a nice system in the trunk and the best damn rims money can buy. Amber winks at me as she urges me in and I climb into the backseat as she cracks the windows open. I sit back and close my eyes picturing Lilian, her eyes, her beautiful long hair, her curves, her sweet soft lips. I can feel Amber groping my dick but I imagine it’s Lilian doing it. Amber’s moaning in my ear urging me to put my hard- on on. I ignore her and let myself be alone with Lilian in my head. Ambers pulling my zipper attempting to pull out my softie so I’ll snap out of it and pound her. I still ignore her as she starts to pull off her pants. I’m sitting next to Lilian watching her as she talks to me about our research paper. She’s incredibly beautiful, like an angel.

                Ambers pulling on my hand and trying to place it on her wet p***y but I pull it away. I hear Lilian’s voice drift in through the cracked window and snap my eyes open to look outside. She’s standing a couple of feet away with two nerdy girls chatting away. Crap, I hope she doesn’t see me in here with Amber. Amber starts playing with my shirt and I bat her hand away as I reach down and zip up my jeans and button the pants. Ambers trying to stop me but I ease her off me easily.

                “Babe what the hell are you doing?” Amber’s pulling on my arm as I fix my shirt up and grab my backpack.

                “We’ll do this later on ok? Roll up my windows and lock my car yeah?” I throw open the door and climb out putting my backpack on the roof so I can fix my shirt.

                “Alec! F**k are you serious? Get back in here and f**k me!” Amber’s rushing to pull her pants back on as people start to turn their attention to my car.

                “I gotta go do something Amber. I’ll catch you later.” I smooth out my jeans and grab my back pack.

                “What the f**k is so important?” Amber clambers out with her purse in hand , her jeans still unbuttoned.

                “Her…” I look at Lilian in awe thinking of what I should say when I approach her.

                “Huh?” Amber looks to where I’m looking as she rolls up the windows.

                “Nothing. I’ll just catch you later, ok?” I slam my door closed and lock my car.

                “Alec what the f**k!” Amber stands there looking at me confused as her two friends approach the car.

                “Well that was fast Amber. He’s a one minute man?” Amber’s friends laugh as she looks on at me walking across the street to where Lilian is.

                “We didn’t do s**t! He was all weird and out of it! And he just got up and said he’ll see me later that he has to go do something!” Amber fixes her jeans and pouts at her friends.

                “I told you he’s no good Amber! He’s using you whenever he wants sex and that’s it!” Linda’s fuming.

                I reach Lilian and she looks up at me and automatically blushes. Her two friends blush also and whisper hellos to me. I smile and say hi back to them, keeping my eyes locked on Lilian. She’s keeping her eyes away from mine and blushing. I can’t help but to keep a smile on my face.

                “Hey. I couldn’t stop thinking about you and why we couldn’t have lunch.” Lilian looks up at me slowly still blushing.

                “I told you these two sweet girls asked me to have lunch with them.” I smile and keep telling myself not to screw this up.

                “I know, but I was thinking I could use some new friends. And I don’t see why I can’t just have lunch with all three of you.” Lilian smiles as her two friends look at each other in awe.

                “You’re determined to have lunch with me huh?”

                “Very.” I smile at her confidently as I hear footsteps behind me.

                “Alec are you f*****g serious?!” Amber’s purse meets the back of my head before I can turn to look at her.

                “Amber don’t start. Just go and have lunch with your friends.” I look from Amber to Lilian hoping that Amber doesn’t cause drama.

                “No you f*****g a*****e! I let you f**k me whenever the hell you want for the past five f*****g months and all I ask is for you to make me your f*****g girlfriend and do you? No! instead you’re here after this ugly a*s nerdy b***h!” Lilian looks shocked, a little voice in my head says f**k.

                “Amber…”

                “No Alec! You better choose your next words carefully cause I’m not doing this s**t anymore. So choose right now. Are you going to keep on after this stupid b***h or are you going to be my f*****g boyfriend?” Amber’s friends are glaring at me, Lilian’s grabbing her things to go.

                “Lilian…don’t..” I grab hold of her arm and she drops her purse looking into my eyes.

                “We’re just friends Amber so you need to chill out. I was just going to ask her to have lunch with me since she’s new and well I don’t want to be an a*s to her.” Lilian’s looking at me slightly disappointed, Amber knows she has me where she wants me.

                “You promise boo?” Amber gives me her puppy dog eyes. I know whatever I say next will determine what happens with Lilian in the future.

                “I…” I look at Lilian she’s attempting to remain neutral, keeping her eyes away from mine, “I don’t think… I can’t be your boyfriend Amber…”

                “What?!” Amber looks at me confused and angrily, Lilian looks up at me and quickly away when I look at her.

                “I just can’t Amber. I’m sorry. I’ll catch you later.” I pick up Lilian’s purse and lead her and her friends to my car, leaving Amber there as her tears begin to come down.

                All the girls rush to Ambers side as Lilian and her friends clamber into my car. I get in and stare at my steering wheel in disbelief. I just chose Lilian’s friendship over a piece of a*s, that’s a definite first. This girls she’s got me in a way that’s so new to me, but I’m kind of liking it. Lilian brushes my hand and I snap out of it looking from her to her friends.

 “Alec where are we going?” Lilian’s stroking my hand almost holding it in hers.

“I..I  need to move my car.” I start the car and drive off.

“You didn’t have to choose me over your girlfriend Alec.”

“She’s not my girlfriend. And I just wanted to spend lunch with you instead.” I hope she doesn’t hear the nervousness in my voice.

“You’re such a sweetheart. I’m kind of seeing why all these girls are after you.”

“I’m not as good as you’re thinking Lilian, I could be a lot better.” Her two friends are smiling at us, probably laughing at how Lilian can’t tell I’m having feelings for her.

“My girlfriend always says that to me, but you know it’s not that I don’t see the faults in people it’s just when you care about someone you forget the flaws and focus on the beauty in them. You want to help them be the best person they can, not the worst.” My heart sinks, did I just hear her correctly?

“Um..your girlfriend?” I can feel how dry my throat is as I pull into the student parking on the other side of the school and find a spot.

                “Yes, I’m sorry I didn’t mention her earlier. Her names Haylee, she goes to another school. She’s really awesome, maybe one of these days I’ll introduce you to her.” She smiles at me with her innocent smile, she feels nothing for me.

                “Sounds great, I can’t wait to meet the lucky girl.”

               
                “Oh Alec you swear, I’m nothing grand.” She sticks her tongue out at me and punches my arm playfully.

                “You’re more than you know.” I grab my keys and open my door to get out.

                Lilian and her friends get out and head into the building while I lock my car and grab my backpack. Girlfriend. I guess I should have seen that coming, she did tell me more than once she likes girls. F**k, and I just have to be a “guy”. Is this sex change even really what I want? All of the sudden one summer I start asking for a dick in my pants, shouldn’t I have wanted this all my life?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2

                I head inside the building and nearly walk right into Lilian. She’s standing there innocently smiling and gazing into my eyes. I’m trying to hide my feelings and show no emotion. This girl is breaking down the wall I’ve always held up and we just met. I’ve never been so upset about some girl being taken. I almost feel jealous that Haylee or whatever her name is gets to be with Lilian and not me.

                “Are you okay Alec?” She looks into my eyes, concerned.

                “I’m okay, why?” I fix my backpack and try to get back to my usual stature.

                “You seemed a little uneasy in the car after I started talking to you about my girlfriend.”

                “Uneasy?” I want to kiss her so bad right now she doesn’t even know.

                “Yes like you were really uncomfortable…Do gay people make you uncomfortable Alec?” I almost break out laughing but I hold it in.

                “Lilian I have nothing against you being les. You talking about your girlfriend didn’t bother me at all, I swear.” It bothered me a lot.

                “I’m sorry! I just thought I had weirded you out!” She pulls me in for a hug and I swear if I was chocolate I’d be melting in her arms.

                “No, you are who you are. I think you’re  a pretty awesome girl.”

                “Thank you Alec. I’m glad we’re going to be friends. I need a good guy friend.” She lets me go and turns to start walking to class.

                I hesitate and follow her. I lead her to our next class mumbling to myself. Lilian glances at me from time to time, still smiling. She’s so beautiful, but I’m just a good guy friend. Damn. I know I need to tell her I’m trans. Hopefully she won’t freak, and she’ll still want to keep talking to me. I gotta be with this girl.

                I take Lilian up to Mr. Grey and he introduces her to the class. I take my seat as Lilian takes the seat next to me. She’s smiling at me as she pulls a notebook out of her backpack. I pull out my composition book and throw it on the desk with my pen. Lilian looks over at me and giggles as I slouch and pretend to be asleep. At least I make her laugh, that’s a start.

                Lilian listens to Mr. Grey closely as she starts taking notes on his lecture about human behavior in times of war. I sit back looking up at the ceiling thinking about how to tell her I’m trans. What if I give up being trans for her? I mean if I give up this guy s**t and just go back to being my big lesbian self that gives me a decent shot at being with her, right? I mean do I really want to go through with this whole sex change thing? Am I really suppose to be a guy?

                “Alec what’s your opinion?” I snap out of my day dream and sit up, Mr. Greys staring me down.

                “I don’t really have one sir.”

                “Or you weren’t paying attention like always, right?” Lilian looks at me and I smile.

                “No sir I wasn’t paying attention, I was day dreaming.”

                “Since day dreaming seems to be more important to you Alec, why not let the whole class know what you were day dreaming about.” I smile and laugh to myself, I’m about to be in deep s**t.

                “Well sir do you recall last semester when you caught me with your daughter? I remember she was the best head and the best f**k I ever got. Damn good mouth that girl has on her, can say the same thing about her p***y. You must be proud.” The whole class starts laughing, Lilian’s looking at me shocked; Mr. Grey is shaking and snaps his ruler in half.

                “You son of a b***h! I’m going to f*****g kill you!” Mr. Grey lunges at me as I move out of the way.

                He lands on the desk, as the girls in the class start screaming. Lilian gets up from her desk and moves to my side. Mr. Grey’s getting up slowly his eyes locked on me. He’s going to get the s**t beat out of him. Lilian’s pulling on the sleeve of my jacket.

                “Alec stop, please.” I nudge her off.

                “Get out of the way Lilian, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

                “Alec, please.”

                “Lilian just get out of the way. I gotta do this.” I don’t know why I said that s**t, I don’t know why I’m suddenly in the mood to fight.

                “Alec. Please.” I feel her hand take hold of mine as she reaches for her backpack with the other hand.

                “Ok.” I grab my backpack and squeeze her hand, she squeezes back.

                “Alec.”

                “Just run. Don’t let go of my hand.” Mr. Grey’s cussing me out as I tighten my grip on Lilian’s hand.

                “Alec.”

                “Trust me.”  She nods and I start running heading out the door with her by my side.

                We run out to the parking lot I can hear Mr. Grey running after us yelling. I lead Lilian to my car and unlock it. She jumps in as I start the engine and speed out as Mr. Grey comes running out. I speed off and head to my hang out spot. Lilian looks at me scared and I slow down as we get close. I pull into an empty driveway of a small white house. It’s kind of old and falling apart. I shut the engine off and get out, Lilian gets out slowly.

                “Where are we?” She looks at me a little scared.

                “My uncles house, he doesn’t really use it so he let’s me stay here.” I lead her to the front door.

                “You live here alone?” She looks at me confused.

                “Yes, my parents and me fight too much so I moved out.”

                “Oh, wow.” I lead her inside she walks in and looks around.

                “It’s small but you know it’s alright.” She turns to look at me and smiles.

                “Alec.”

                “Yeah?” I look at her as she moves closer to me.

                “Kiss me?” She takes my hand in hers and leans in pressing her lips against mine. I respond kissing her back, savoring each and every kiss.

                I feel something hit my head and turn to see Lilian giggling at me. I look around and realize that I’m still in the classroom. Mr. Greys still talking away, everyone’s half asleep. Lilian points at the paper on the floor and I pick it up. She motions for me to open it up so I do and see her handwriting. I rub my eyes and read the note.

                Thank you for showing me around today. You’re a great guy, and I hope we’ll be really good friends. I think you should give that girl Amber a chance, she really likes you. I can see why too. You’re smart, and funny and a real sweetheart. Maybe we can do a double date this weekend? That way you can meet my girlfriend. J

                As much as reading this note is killing me, I look over at Lilian give her a smile and a nod. It’s time to go at this a different way. I’m going to make Amber my girlfriend and use it as a way to talk to Lilian as much as possible. I have to get to know her and somehow, someday I have to get her to be my girl. There’s something between us I can’t even explain, it’s this little warm feeling, it’s this little need to be hers. I don’t know what this is, but I have to find out.

                I write “sounds good” on the note and hand it to her. She giggles and folds the note so she can slip it into her pocket. I put away my notebook and sit back trying to tell myself this plan will work out. I mean if I’m with Amber and Lilian is my friend that means we’ll spend a lot of time talking about stuff, right? She’ll call me when her girlfriend fights with her and I’ll call her when Amber gets to my balls, which is like every day. We’re friends, that means I can ask her out places and talk to her without any problems.

                Lilian puts her things away as the bell rings. I grab my backpack and wait for her to get her stuff together. She grabs onto my arm and I lead her to our next class. She’s looking around, smiling. I see Amber ahead of us, glaring at me. Lilian notices her too and let’s go of my arm. I sigh and know what I gotta do. Lilian needs to see that I’m not as bad as I made myself look at lunch. She pushes me towards Amber, following closely behind me.

                “Hey.” Amber’s friends stand on each side of her ready to shoot down every word I say.

                “What do you want?” Amber looks like she’s going to cry, great.

                “I’m sorry about lunch. Lilian really is just a friend. They asked me to show her around so I said I would. She has a girlfriend so you have nothing to worry about.” Lilian nods at Amber and smiles, I sigh shoving my hands in my pockets.

                “I’m suppose to believe you?” Amber’s friends roll their eyes and snicker at me.

                “I’m telling you the truth Amber. You’re right you know. We’ve been talking to each other for 5 months and I think it’s time for us to be official.” Amber’s trying not to smile, I’m trying not to grab Lilian’s hand and run.

                “Do you really mean that Alec?” I nod.

                “He does. We were just talking about it in class. I wanted to know if you two would join me and my girlfriend for a date on Saturday night?” Amber’s smiling now and so is Lilian, I’m trying not to look miserable.

                “That sounds great! Yes we will. Thank you for clearing everything up Lilian.” Amber steps forward and hugs Lilian.

                I’m biting my tongue. I know I’m just going to have to stick this out till I can make Lilian fall for me. I don’t want to be Amber’s anything. I’m thinking about cheating but then that’ll totally ruin any chance I may have with Lilian someday. I’m stuck with Amber. F**k.

                “Lets get to class Alec?” Lilan’s next to me again pulling on my sleeve.

                “Yeah, we should.” Amber runs up to me and pulls me close to her.

                “I’ll see you after school baby.” She lays a kiss on me and even though I don’t want to kiss back I do.

                “Yeah. Laters �" um babe.” Amber giggles and heads off with her two vultures to class.

                “You two are cute together Alec, I mean it.” Lilian’s holding onto my arm again with that beautiful smile on her face.

                “Thanks.” I’d rather you be my girl Lilian!

                “I hope you’re happy.”

                “I am.” F**k no I’m not.

                “I’m glad. You deserve it.”

                “You don’t even know me and you think I deserve to be happy.” I hold on to her arm tightly as if I’m expecting her to make a big scene and leave me.

                “Alec you can tell a lot about a person the first day you meet them. I don’t know your past or your flaws but I see someone that’s really great.” I hope I’m not blushing cause my cheeks feel hot.

                “You’re really something Lilian.” She sticks her tongue out at me playfully and laughs.

                “I’m glad you’ve decided to keep me as a friend.”

                “Why wouldn’t I?” I raise my eyebrow at her as we get to class.

                “Cause I’m the new girl and you have a girlfriend now.”

                “I’m not going to stop talking to you cause of her ok? Amber doesn’t run my life.” I realize we’re stopped right in front of the door.

                “I didn’t mean anything like that Alec. Some girls are just very uptight about their boyfriends and them talking to other girls. I know my girlfriend’s uptight about me talking to other girls.” Well f**k your girlfriend, I don’t know why but I want you to be mine so damn bad!

                “I don’t care what Amber has to say. I’m going to keep being your friend from this day forth.”

                “I promise to keep being your friend too Alec.” She smiles and leans in to pull me in for a hug.

                I take in her scent and hesitate to let go but I know holding onto her for too long will just make things weird. She pulls back and smiles at me, I’m smiling back. I’m so tempted to lean in and kiss her. I could do it, I mean the worst that could happen is she’d get upset and possibly slap me. But what if she stops talking to me? It’s too soon. I want our first kiss to be nothing short of incredible when it happens, and I’m determined for it to happen. I think I’m going to fall for Lilian, I just hope if I do it’s a mutual thing. This girl has made me feel more warmth than I have ever felt in my life. This isn’t just something new, this is something special and one of a kind. What exactly is going on, I don’t know, but I’m determined to find out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

                Having Lilian for class is the best damn thing in the whole world. She makes me have this constant smile on my face.  Amber could never do that for me. I can’t wait to start spending time with her out of school, working on papers and studying together. I’m actually looking forward to our double date on Saturday, it’ll give me a chance to see what Lilian’s girlfriend is all about. If I can figure out what her relationship is like with this chick then maybe I’ll be able to tell if I’ve got a fair shot. Even if I don’t, I’ll die trying to figure out what it is she’s making me feel . it hasn’t even been a full twenty four hours since we met and this girl has me hooked on her already.

Author's Note

there are so many grammar errors im sure so be gentle im still in the writing phase have not gotten around to editing.
this is not the whole thing only part of the 1st chapter.

Reviews

[Alex]

Hey there. I finished reading this, and I don't think there's much grammar errors. Only a few minor ones. I only noticed because I tried to look for it though.
I don't read much stories like this, or any long stories, but this one sounds so promising and unique, I just have to read more. The plot and characters, are great! As far as I can tell, it isn't cliched. Post more? :)