CHAPTER ONE

Three years ago, when I was fifteen, my best friend Corrine's dad committed suicide in their family lakehouse. It was one of those tragic events that nobody would ever expect to happen in a million years, therefore our whole neighborhood was in shock for months. William Wright was a very successful, very "happy" man. Or so he seemed. I suppose he really wasn't happy after all, but he definitely put on a show better than anybody else I know. Better than I ever could. And everybody believed him. Corrine, her family, his coworkers, and the entire neighborhood. Little did we know, he had problems none of us were aware of. I think that's what got to Corrine the most.

She was all torn up for a long time, not able to understand why her dad put a pistol to his head and pulled the trigger. It's probably terrible, to have someone so close to you die like that and you have no idea what provoked them to just end it all. I've never had anyone close to me die before, so when Corrine called me hysterically crying, I wasn't too sure what I should say. I managed to release a "sorry" and went to console her at her home a few streets over, but I still didn't feel like I was doing enough for her. And I don't think anybody ever could do enough for her after that. She became tired and distant. I couldn't blame her, but I didn't understand why she wouldn't bother to come talk to me or our small group of friends. She was depressed and everyone could see it. And she didn't hide it. And she didn't care if anyone thought she was seeking attention, because she was hurting and she couldn't hide the pain anymore. She couldn't act like nothing was wrong when nothing was right.

Within only six months, my best friend went from being a beautiful, blue-eyed sweetheart to being a distant, messy wreck. Her blonde hair was always up in a chaotic bun, and she stopped wearing makeup, although she never really needed it in the first place. Believe me when I tell you that Corrine is the most breath-taking girl I have ever met, and I'm not just saying that because she's my best friend. She's truly something else. But I looked at her one day, and I could see the pain in her pretty eyes, and I knew that her heart was broken. And I felt bad, but I didn't know what to do for her or if I could even do anything that would make her feel slightly better. So I just spent as much time with her as I could, and made sure to smile and show her that she had people in her life who genuinely cared about her feelings. But I'm not sure if she realized that, because I started seeing cuts on her arm. Deep, red wounds. And she wasn't hiding them, either. Corrine never hid her pain throughout the entire ordeal, and I admire that in an odd way, because she was going through things and it didn't matter to her what people thought at all. She didn't need to pretend to be okay, because she wasn't, and if anyone thought she was strange or crazy for being visibly upset all the time, she didn't pay them any attention.

But soon, and I mean very soon, our friend Rachel went to Corrine's house to tell her mother all about the cutting. And I don't really need to tell you about what happened after that. But long story short, Corrine ended up getting sent to a home for unstable people, a place called the Western Psychiatric Institute. And she wasn't happy about that, but nobody honestly expected her to be. Apparently, that place was the biggest shithole you could imagine. What she hated most was the fact that there was nothing even remotely sharp anywhere to be found, which meant that she couldn't self-harm anymore. That was a relief to everyone but herself.

Rachel, our friend Kellin, and I went to visit Corrine one day at Western Psych. She still looked as miserable as usual, and I could tell she had been crying, but this time, instead of being abnormally distant, she broke down right in front of us. And I didn't really know what to say, then, either, because we hadn't really been close since her dad died and things were so different and unrecognizable even though I still considered her my "BFF".

"I need you guys to know that I love you. But I can't deal with this on my own." she finally said.

Thankfully, Rachel spoke up first. "We don't want you to, We love you, too... And we're here for you. I promise." She took Corrine's hand in her own and squeezed tightly.

I nodded in confirmation, and Kellin half-smiled, clearly feeling just as awkward as I did. 

I don't know if you've ever had a friend that was so down in the dumps that it's like they aren't all there anymore. It feels like they aren't even alive. No matter what you do to help them, they won't snap out of it. They've turned into lifeless, detached zombies. And it sucks. If you know what that's like, then you must know how it felt to see my best friend on our first visit to the institution. And you must understand that it was hard to say goodbye to her, even though we would be back in just a few days, because we knew that as soon as we left that room, she would cry again. I don't know about you, but knowing someone I care about is in pain just tears me to pieces. And I was beginning to fight a little battle of depression within myself, if I hadn't already been doing so before everything happened with Corinne.

And so when we went back to visit her a few days later, and the nurse told us that our friend had attempted to take her own life by strangling herself with her bed sheet, you can only imagine how the looks on our faces. The looks of complete horror and sadness and fear all in one. That's when we made the pact that changed things forever.

Reviews

[janiksxxl]

I have nothing to say, that's how much already I don't care about "how" it's written. And written more than good anyways. I just went through without stopping. "I promise" felt really slippery. People tend to promise a lot in such situations, but they fail a lot in keeping their promises - I look forward to seeing how it goes.
I got a hint to my question surprisingly fast and clear in this chapter, but I yet need to figure something out.