Effortless

I don't know if you love me, if you ever did at that,

But as time goes on, I find that I will never understand.

I tried so hard to be a friend, to learn, to grow, to be yours,

It was all in vain, a fever dream, a mouthful of open sores.

These hands bound behind my back keep track of the passage of time,

A strong reminder, stagnant place, and for you, my love- a shrine.

They've built empires that crumble now, razed by anger and fear,

Worlds that lie in ruin, at the far borders of nowhere and near.

On the long morning you absconded, still dead and dark as night,

I found my weak self wondering if indeed I'd just lost sight.

The letters, they stopped coming, and I knew then the end was close,

Still, the overwhelmed breath in my chest clutches red at my throat.

You once said you thought me special; now I wonder what you meant.

At the sight of your consternation, I thought this evident;

Where there is love, there is anguish, where lies anguish, I'll find you,

I've followed you for far too long to miss a chance to follow through.

That all things come to a close, a demise, a whimper before the void,

That all things crumble, and dissipate, that rust spares no alloy.

And through these observations, I hope to find my peace,

Though I know for certain my relief lay still with endless sleep.

AV Grey 2024