Understanding

As I stand
Under the streetlights,
And look up at the blood moon,
I wonder if you're looking up at the same stars...
But I know
That you're probably looking down
The barrel
Of a loaded gun.
Under disguise,
Where I stand on the edge
Contemplating past memories,
Things not forgotten,
But too long dead.
Feeling the rush
That spike-
-Of cortisol,
High adrenaline-
-Accompanied by a heavier fall,
I know
For a fact
That no-one
Under
Stands
Me.
Not even you know
The depth of my
Regret..
...Suffering.
Guilt...
Pain.
Experiences rebuffed
Un-cared about
The children
Forsaken,
The bodies I've seen,
The lives I've observed taken.
The people I was around for too long,
The people I wasn't around for long enough...
The lives I've lived,
In this one life.
And for the one time,
All I ask
Is your
Understanding...

2020 Shanti Starks (Indra's Child, Lysergicidal Maniac, Lysergic Pancakes)