Quantifyably Happy

Leaving a dividend of terror...

I have never carried so much fear
As I do now

Not of knives, or guns, or mortal peril

But of telling you the truth of how I feel
Through the thick fog of a drunken mind,
This might be easy
But the pale light of the evening dim,
It leaves me feeling
Queasy,

Not quite right
Not myself,
And afraid
Afraid I will bruise your sentiments,
Like fresh basil

Or tear the thin sum of words spoken

Between us,
To reveal only that I was mistaken
And such,
Sweet moments have turned
Sour
Citrus,
I fear it might one day become rotten
As is my always allotted portion of joy,
The strips of decay are only interrupted
By day
Voices, noises, yours is not quiet.
And,
I'm not quite myself,
Tonight...

Reviews

[Zayir]

It is a daunting task to fully open up to someone. Afraid they'll run away, tell others, judge you etc. Just have to sense the vibe of people. I wish you luck in finding someone to be fully raw with.
Much love

[Indra's Child]

Thank you for the review (and the luck- I need it haha).
It is so hard to find that. I'm only just appreciating it now, too. Going through life sober (around only sober people) is hard because no-one is really open. No-one loves openly. I've just gotta find my crowd I guess..