Cry

Sad story about a girl who has faith; she believes crying is natural, and that it is God's tears.

Pitter patter

Brown spots on the concrete

My face

Red from salty tears

The heavens

Cry with me

As the street begins to flood

The world

Crys with me

For someone

They have lost

The world

Tries with me

To see what the have become

The world

Tries with me

Just to overcome

Reviews

[Pale Rose]

I like the simple construction of this poem. Even so, perhaps expanding on it... More lines to tell more of the story, or such... Would make it an even better poem.

There are a few typos, and I have a few suggestions to help it mesh better, as follows: (Thought I'd lump them together, hope its not confusing)

Pitter patter
Brown spots on the concrete

My face
Red from salty tears

The heavens
Cry with me
As the street begins to flood

The world
Cries with me
For someone
They have lost

The world
Tries with me
To see what they have become

The world
Tries with me
Just to overcome

I didn't want to change the content, but I think you get the idea. Flesh out the story a little more and you have an interesting piece. I think you have a lot of potential to be a great poet. Keep at it! :)