Let Me Fall ( the cliff I stand)

This is another personal short poem that I wrote. Warning it has some profanity PLEASE REVIEW!

Let Me Fall (The Cliff I Stand)

My time has come let go of my hand
And let me fall off the cliff I stand
Don't fell sad for me don't even try
Because you're the one who feel my head with all these lies
How life is wonderful, how it's sweet
How you will enjoy everyone you meet
How life is sacred, how life is swell
Well guess what my life is a living hell
I am a loner-
A outcast
A monster
And a freak
I am the mute who never speaks
I am a mistake my life is full of regret
I am the ghost who everyone forgets
I am made fun of and everybody knows
But they do nothing and help make fun of -
My Head
My ears
My voice
And my nose
So I've made a decision
I won't stand here and watch you as you make fun of-
My thoughts
My feelings
And my religion
So today is the day I decide I'm in command
Today I fall off the cliff I stand

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think!

Reviews

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-G..]

In all honesty I thought it would have had a happier ending. If one truly does not care what another thinks, they surely would not end their life.

I think the flow worked and you worked well with the rhymes, however it could have just been so with a free verse (I don't do poetry and I'm not very good at it and when I use rhyme, I sound like a child). However you made it work even when a couple of times I felt it cheesy with the rhyming.

Also a person with a religion that is strong and powerful has strength in Jesus Christ (at least with all forms of Christianity) and would have the understanding that the people that hurt them are hurt themselves and instead of letting their negativity destroy them, they'd be positive and uplifting to help others from the torment and struggles of negative energy. It's a struggle we all face and bullying is one of the worst forms because it's a person living in a negative environment and projecting it onto others, mostly those weaker or as weak as they are.

I guess I wish it would have had a happier ending... but props on the job well done!

[lyricalprince]

no u don't understand what I meant by "today I fall off the cliff is stand" that line was metaphorical to the way people put on this depressing pedestal and I wanted to "fall off" of it I didn't not meant for it to have the literal meaning of someone jumping off a cliff and ending their life

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

In that case, kudos! And my apologies as I'm not a poetry reader or writer and know nothing of metaphors, clearly. Well I KNOW what they are, I just can't seem to point them out in poetry because I don't know a lot about it.

Again, my apologies and kudos!

[Scott Mou]

I loved it, it was powerful and uplifting. My favorite line was "Because you're the one who feel my head with all these lies". Simply Brilliant.

[lyricalprince]

thank you I really appreciate it

[Andy~]

This is a very well-written poem! I spotted a few typos, but other than that, it was a great poem - very powerful, and I love the way you rhyme!
Keep up the good work, and keep writing!
~Andromeda

[Sami Khalil]

A good read and write...Thank you for penning...:)

[lyricalprince]

thanks i really appreciate it!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Silent Wolf]

Dude? You write from my point of view.

[lyricalprince]

really how so?

[Silent Wolf]

I may just be taking it literally, but like when you say how you filled my head will all these lies, that part, it just really spoke to me and like I thought of my friend. She's always telling me how life is great and such but it's not. I am a freak and consider myself a monster, and I have been an outcast for a while. I don't speak a lot, people have forgotten about me throughout my life (including my own father) Everybody makes fun of me (I have big eyes so they call me bugsy, i have a deep voice for a girl and a deeper laugh, and things like that.)

[lyricalprince]

wow im glad to know that i am not alone i know how you feel but listen you r not alone there are others like you and me dont let them define you. you are your own person dont forget that and if i can stand up to these haters than im more than confident that you can too!

[Silent Wolf]

Yeah. I've been trying, but the thing is I am very shy.

[lyricalprince]

come on i am a mute and if a mute can be outgoing so can u

[Silent Wolf]

Trying. Lol. It's hard when you can't hear them.

[lyricalprince]

true but youll get through it :)

[Silent Wolf]

lol yeah true.

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

These people won't matter in the end, focus your life on God and He will bless you. He calls us toward love, acceptance and peace. He is the only thing that can bring that to our lives, no matter how difficult our life may be or feel. Trust me, I've been through the same issues as you both speak of and I found healing in God. Depression is no longer a problem in my life and I have the tools to fight it and the devil when it tries to return. And it does, often because the devil is mad and jealous of my peace and happiness and does what he can to bring me down. But you can't be brought down when you are high up with God. It's all about positive and negative energy... pick the road you want to go down, and follow it til the end.

[Silent Wolf]

Thanks, although I am not very religious, I thank you for your words. I am now on depression medicine and still fighting...

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

It's okay because religion is a scary thing and hard to decipher the good from the bad but I can assure you, a relationship with God is needed for everyone. He brings true happiness that depression meds never will and please be careful with those as I've seen terrible side effects from them and once being taken off of them. If you ever need someone to talk to or just to listen, I'm all ears.

[Silent Wolf]

Thank you. I shall remember that. :) k

[bunny]

this is great! very real i like it hun!