my facade

She sent me a text message.
Do I answer? Do i ignore her?
Do I reply with the risk of starting
that fatal emotional cycle once again?
it's hard. it's awkward. it's uncomfortable, inconvienient.
to talk to a woman i love more than my own soul and
act as if we are the most formal, least intimate of friends.
how did things come to this? this young lady was supposed to be
becoming warm within my embrace right about now.
we had things planned out so perfect.
down to the ring and the jade green dresses.
but somehow, our complex equation fooled us
into thinking that money and outside influences
could be neglected and Love alone could carry us to cloud 17.
so instead of in the clouds, my face is in the sand.
blinded by emotion, scarred by pain, demolished by love.
they say that love hurts
but it went beyond and above to make it worse
and what do I do once again?
I open my heart, lose the key
i answer the text and internally bleed
and wonder again when pain will end
and talk to this young lady as if we just became friends.