lonliness

another old one i found... this one was written in March of 04

Do you know what loneliness feels like?

Have you experienced sadness like in my life?

For all y’all out there who haven’t felt this,

Let me paint you a picture as I reminisce.

 

My loneliness is like being swallowed into a black hole as I scream in pain and agony

and even though my mouth is open, no words are coming out as I rapidly plummet into my own self pity

Cause I stand here speaking the spoken word even though I’m not really here at all,

 cause my soul has been drained out, it has died out and given up on all the people that I had once put trust in.

the first time I got played;

the second time I got betrayed

and it was by one of the people that I felt was closest to me,

 but I guess it was just too close in a way that I couldn’t see.

I’m disgusted with the way

that the world is today

but what can I do about it, no one cares about me.

i’m sick of all these wars

cause I can’t endure

nobody asks, nobody cares about who I will be.

 

You wanna know what my loneliness is like?

It’s like passing a mirror that shows your flaws and imperfections

And the mirror itself shows that you’re not worthy to even see your reflection.

Loneliness is thinking that whatever you do, whatever you say, what ever happens

No one will care. no one will ask

No one will dare to accept the task

To talk to you and be a friend

Hoping that they can help your troubles to end.

I got Negative feelings toward the fortunate because of my envy

I gotta do this by myself cause nobody believes in me.

Some people just don’t like me cause they don’t really know.

That things happen that affect me though I don’t let them show.

I can’t just let these feelings take over me.

I can’t let emotions determine who I will be.

After all, disappointment leads to stress and frustration that will tear us apart hoping they’ll try to take the negative and poison my heart

and pass it on to the rest of our pains and sorrows that will soon lead to our day

It’s like my life is like a mudslide going the wrong way

It’s like I fainted and I see that light at the end of the road

My life has been too frustrating to live by a code

So I walk toward that light and I’m ready to die.

So I woke up and left; to say my goodbyes.

I said goodbye to the sidewalk for being my bed.

I said goodbye to the coat that supported my head

I said goodbye to the corner where I made my money

I said goodbye to the flower that opened when sunny

I said goodbye to the trees that gave me shade

I said goodbye to the sandwiches the bakery made.

I said goodbye to the world that never will miss me,

I said goodbye to the gun that ended my misery.