My Homeland Insecurity

every family has issues that affects everyone involved in a negative way. this is my insecurity.

insecurity is eating up my confidence

repeatedly i won't repent

for seeing the time not well spent

for being myself

 

so i work on thee

i try to heal the hurt you see

it's not a jerk I try to be.

but darkness lurks inside of me

 

however......

 

this doubt of which i speak

makes me shout up to the peaks

of the mountains round about

and the fountains and the beaks

of the birds flying high

because they heard me in the sky

and now i think of my next word

to say to prove i tell no lie

 

i write this poem to say to you

my dearest mother its so true

that one good turn deserves another

so i think my time is due.

 

i'll tell you in all honesty

your words do sometimes bother me

and you and father can not see

this scar called insecurity

 

this all has started from our home

I'm parted from my girl, alone

up in my room, i dream of pearls

that make her eyes, complete my world

 

i want to see her 'cause i miss her,

but i can't come close and kiss her...

so I will start on  this hysterical

rant now on my sister.

 

this poem is all about this topic

please dont talk yet please just stop it

i just want to get my thoughts out

in  this time that is alotted

 

my confidence has just been slaughtered

for your middle child daughter

now my mind is going wild

because i realize you laud her

on a good consistent basis

but for me you change your faces

i just seem to disappoint you

when i go to different places.

 

i STILL  love you my caring mother

there just could not be another

but i see you love my sister

a little more than me and my other.

 

i'm not done so please just listen

i realize that we're all different

there's no doubt when me you're kissing.

i just wished its me you're missing.

 

so THAT is why i'm insecure

about myself, but i endure

without your help, there is no cure

this pain i felt, i need no more.

 

 

so i write this poem to say to you

I miss my girl, yes it is true

but you'll always be number one

even if you can't say it too                   

 

:'(

 

 

 

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Beautiful showing of love written to a mother.. sad I felt that you feel less than another.. like you stand in the shadows of another sibling (I know that feeling.. all throughout life).. just yearning to be told for once that you are number one! It can be a horrible feeling to always strive for attention that does not come as you would like it.. hopefully one day your Mother sees just how much you want and need this.. and at least spreads the love equal to all siblings.. favoritism is a terrible thing! I loved the flow of emotions in this.. I can relate to your plight.. I most likely will feel this the rest of my life in some ways.. but will try my hardest to not focus on it.. and remember not to do the same to my own children! (Being a mother.. I try to be equal.. it is sometimes hard.. sometimes 1 child may need more attention I have found so I think I understand a little better now ... where my mother stands!) Thank you so much for sharing! =)