Letter to my lover

A letter I wrote to my first girlfriend in high school, tenth grade. I was 14

The reality of my life, the blues of my soul.

if she leaves me now, I will nevermore be whole.

The depth of her words piercing my soft spoken heart.

I lover her dearly when we're together or apart.

Her words are killing me softly, in my mind, heart, body and soul.

to say those three heart lifting words is my lifetime goal.

I may be naive, a young boy who knows nothing of love.

but what is this feeling in my heart and soul, is it from above?

I'm afraid of being hurt. I could really die from it in agony and pain.

I know she doesn't feel the same as me so loving her brings no gain.

what's real anymore, my heart, or the concerned reflection in that mirror?

is this real or is this a dream, can i really hear her?

Am i imagining this or are we really having a conversation?

does she really exist, or do i have an unsolved situation?

Everyday, every hour, every minute, she crosses my mind.

I can't believe she can control me like this in such a short time.

All this drama, problems, issues, and stress.

All these uncontrolled feelings- I don't know if they're for the worst or the best.

everyday I endure to see that sparkle in her eyes.

or maybe we'll talk a little bit, but does she even realize?

does she really know how much i care for her?

Does she really believe me when i tell her I'd take a dare for her?

that i'd probably risk everything i have just to see her do well?

or to be straight honest with her, not telling any tales?

of course she doesn't believe me. to her, I'm just another n****.

And I know that she'll soon move on to things better and bigger.

she expects me to leave her for some other girl i know.

She swears thats what'll happen, she thinks i'll just get up and go.

During the first time i met her, I swore i would never hurt her.

I still hold that promise to this day, I know i'll never desert her.

As her winsome words hit my willing ears, my heart cries out in sadness.

because we both know that one fateful day, our relationship will end in badness.

I'm not writing this poem for any sympathy, just to let you know my feelings.

I'm not really good in one on ones, that's why i fail in all my dealings.

 

Meeting you when i did is like the bitter sweetness of a rose.

Soon we won't keep in contact, but i'll still endure our woes.

Maybe that rose can be revived, like in the spring when it arises.

no matter what happens, don't forget me because I'll always remember those eyes.

you don't have to tell me how you feel back, I probably already know.

but how did you think I knew your feelings if you tried not to let them show?

Don't say anything back, I just want to remember all those perfect moments and days.

as long as you know you have my one love like always.

I just wanted you to know all the feelings I had for you.

I hope you know now that my intentions were always faithful and true.

 

to the one who holds my heart,

                   Undeniable Truth AKA Lyrical_4play