I should've known

This poem expresses a man's thoughts after coming to the shocking conclusion of the real personality that the love of his life has.

I should've known it wasnt gonna be the way that i hoped, that i wished
when i ate from the dish of faith in a way that helped me cope.
once again i have come to the crossroads of making a decision
simliar to that of whether or not to keep a child, but then again, where's the decision?
maybe i should start over and say that i have come to the edge of the world
that a man named columbus once thought he was going to fall over, but then again thats maybe why im held in derision...
and now, because of past lives, lost potential wives, four letter words that start with an "L" are now considered a profanity in my presence not to be neglected.
because all that l-o-v-e means to me seriously is Lost Opportunities that are Very Expected.
and it seems that, or it's become a fact that when i act in according to my heart or my soul the price takes its toll in a way that could not be healed even by time.
However, all i ever wanted was a woman that could appreciate that the wedding ring i bought her was big enough to wear as a crown because i wanted to marry her mind.

But yet and still the blood from my cup of endurance keeps getting spilled and from a positive point of view my cup is one sixteenth full.

Or maybe that's bull but the point is that it is almost gone like the woman in Casablanca.

However my name is not humphrey Bogart because I did not have a choice of heart as to whether or not to let her go or leave but whether or not I shall let my heart freeze.

And as I deal with the suffering and pain, I lose the meaning of my name and my identity which was taken by a woman named poison

Who killed me softly with her song of hope that I would find the one for me so that I could see that living a happy life was meant for me.

And even though I have jumped off of two story building in hope of killing this darkness, I still somehow remained alive.

But someone answer why I can still feel this aching in my heart even though I have lost the feeling in my body from being paralyzed.

And as I make this decision to end my life so quickly I will always know that I was already dying slow from the hole made in my soul

From the piercing bullet of a womans words that made my body so cold.

And finally at my ending moments, my heart rate dropped, my breathing slowed down, my mind gave a final thought of insight in my life and vast strife that is the highlight of this poem.

My heart has been broken from the love of my life's infidelity, however, because of the clues given that she slept with my brother, I should've known.

Author's Note

tell me what you think of the analogies and other implications you may have found in this piece.