Diamonds

A magnet from the beginning, so attracted to your smile

meeting at the diamonds and chatting for awhile

Drawn in from day one, I wanted you so bad

I put you on a pedestal; the best I ever had

Looking out for me, but looking out for you

I fell so deep and fast, and now I am the fool

I should have seen the red flags, and I should have known better

I wanted all of you; but we’d never be together 

Compliments and attention, insults and your games,

I was blind to see, how quickly that things changed

the pitcher and the catcher; you had my head spinning

playful and so much fun; flirting between innings

Your lips on mine, fooling around inside your truck

older and out of reach, I was completely struck 

As soon as you had me, nothing was the same

you had conquered me, now here comes the pain

Even when things changed, I wore rose-colored glasses

Was I being too sensitive? Falling deeper as time passes

Sitting in your truck, feeling the speed

I wished that I could be exactly what you need

Lighting up each time your name came across my phone

memorizing you, your scent of cigarettes and cologne

Your temper and your true colours began to slowly show

& so I came to realize, i’d have to let you go

That same smile, that drew me from the start,

became your weapon of choice, when things fell apart

the first couple bruises, I made up an excuse

we were just playing, there isn’t any proof

biting me and leaving teeth marks on my skin,

but your words hurt so much deeper, and finally it sunk in

the bruises hurt me some, but nothing would compare

to the rejection that I felt, my heart began to tear

ignoring and then phone calls, or cancelling our plans

the rush of knowing i’d see you, I had failed to understand

You had me where you wanted me; now I was your toy

Careless and immature, and acting like a boy

When all is said and done, it was merely ninety days

but the damage that occurred, will take time to go away

Relief and disappointment, no more late night chats

I know it was so toxic, but sometimes I want you back

Your abuse hurt me deeply, but sometimes I still dream

that I could make you better, it wasn’t like it seemed

the pictures of my bruises, tell a different truth

no care and no remorse, that alone is proof

I still miss your mannerisms, and how you made me laugh

I watch every white pick up truck and hope it's you I pass

I think about you daily, I dream of you at night,

I cannot seem to let you go, despite all of the fights

I know that I am better off, that I made a big mistake

and I hope each week gets easier; you’re not worth the heart ache 

VJS 2016