Blue

Blue

A Poem by lydie

Like a bird soaring high,
And looking at the big sky,
Blue freedom like water rushing down,
You can act like a silly clown,
Nobody can judge you,
And you can ask yourself "I really am who?"

Like a cheetah running free,
Like a busy buzzing bee,
Blue freedom like breaking from chains,
Your life will suddenly change lanes,
Looking at your life in the way of blue,
A small thing can make your life change from "Boo!" to "Whoo!"

Blue freedom is an important thing,
You must always have freedom,
Or your life will be a disappointing boredom.

© 2015 lydie


Author's Note

lydie
For some reason, this poem reminded me, as I wrote it, of Cool Girl, or Ghost. Good luck on her life adventure!

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B
I couldn't agree with your message more
Something about the color Blue
Endless happiness
Fun
Humor
and Freedom
No wonder I love that color

Posted 9 Years Ago


lydie

8 Years Ago

Thank you for reviewing!
It's a good concept you're trying to portray here, Lydie, and the feeling is there. However, a perfect poem is the that comes from the heart. I have a feeling that you're trying very hard to make it rhyme, but let me tell you, that is not important. If you want it all to rhyme, then there needs to be some very well-chosen words that only a poet prodigy can manage. For now, while you are still building your obvious talent, stick to writing with 'blue freedom' and form. Form is important but it does not have to rhyme.
It's only a suggestion, of course, so take it if you want to.

Posted 9 Years Ago


lydie

8 Years Ago

Sorry it took so long to comment. Something was wrong with my computer. But, yeah really great advic.. read more

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2 Reviews
Added on August 23, 2015
Last Updated on August 23, 2015

Author

lydie
lydie

MN



About
Hello, I am 11 years old and I absolutely love animals! I love ice-cream, Nicktoons TV shows, Animal Planet, I love cooking too. I also love writing (of course)! I mainly write fiction. I also love p.. more..

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