The Avalanche

Have you ever witnessed an avalanche? Or maybe seen it in movies? So, you know that the tiniest of things trigger it. One wrong step taken by a mountaineer or one small stone blown away by the wind and the avalanche happens. Everything comes down in full force and before you realise it, you're in so much problem, you're left wondering what the hell happened. Now imagine having an avalanche happen in you almost everyday. An avalanche that takes your emotions for a ride everyday. You won't realise what actually happened but by the end you're busy catching your breath back. My life is like that. It's a series of avalanches. It starts small everyday. It's something my mother says or a good sunrise or sometimes an unexpectedly good song on the radio. It's that small and seemingly unimportant but it gets my whole day in a roll. They're not always bad ones either. Yes, mostly they're bad but once in a fortnight I have beautiful avalanches too. The kind that nullifies all the bad that happened so far. But I'm getting tired of these avalanches. Even the good ones because it is too much of emotion in one place and my mind is exhausted of feeling them. I crave for normal days when nothing happens. Days which seem like a random dream where things are happening and you are floating around in them. But I've realised something. I'll always have a storm inside me because that's who I am. And there is nothing I can do about it. I can have my bad avalanche days and I occasionally have good ones too. Asking for a normal day is too much to ask in my case but what I can ask for are some quiet normal moments everyday. One in everyday to know that I still have my sanity. I think I have them but I need to start noticing it. So from tomorrow, that's what I'd do.