Depression In a Gift Box�

this...i can't even explain this.

Depression in a Gift Box

“Fragile”
I'll write.
“Please don't break.”
wrapped in bows,
and sealed with love,
I'll send it to you.
I'll worry while it makes it's journey.
I'll lose sleep when I don't hear from you.
Then one day I'll receive a box with a letter attached.
“Thank you so much for your gift.”
It'll say.
“I'm afraid I can't keep it though.”
I'll untie the ribbons on the box,
and look down, dismally.
In the box, will be my heart.

Reviews

[Emily]

What a great idea and even better executed. Given the title I wasn't really sure what I would be reading about when the box was opened. I always love a title which doesn't already give away the whole poem. This one kept me guessing until the very last line. Nice work.

You have a lot of options with this if you'd want to expand it or change it a little differently. I wasn't quite sure when the 9th line said that a box will be received back if it was the original box or if it was a completely different box. The options here are endless. What does the old box look like after it has been so travel worn? It is still intact, or are there holes in the box? Are the bows still there, or do they brighten the other person's heart like your heart was supposed to? There are a bunch of ways to add a little more to a different version or updated version. This is such a great idea that I think you can do so much with.

I enjoyed reading this, and I'm going to look through your writing for more inspiring pieces. Thank you.

[John A Common]

Wow thats very good. Its a great idea and the imagery is very cool. Your very talented and creative. I'm adding this one to my fav's great job buddy.

[love dies XD]

I watched you write this, and you were telling me how it is so sad, I didn't realize until now. I told you I am totally different on the computer, love you tiffy!

[Brittney]

Tiffy I love this one... great job! You would be such an amazing author!