Chapter 19

         That night, I couldn't sleep. Grandfather had a really bad coughing fit. It lasted about ten minutes. I was really worried. 

        I couldn't get comfortable. My pillow was to hot, but when I flipped it over it was too cold. My blankets felt like they were a thousand pounds as well as a thousand degrees, and I threw them off of me to cool down. Then I got too cold. I put them back on, and the process continued. 

        I kept thinking about Joshua, and how he had finally let me touch his face. He really was getting sweeter by the day. Two weeks ago, if you would have asked me if I liked Joshua, I would've definitely said no. Now I wasn't so sure. 

        Dad likes Miss Dillinger. I can tell. The way he talks when he's around her, and the way I can tell he is smiling at just the thought of her. At least she's single. That was a good thing. Dad going after a married woman could cause a lot of problems. Then I would never be able to see Joshua.

        Joshua. Sigh. My thoughts kept roaming back to Joshua. His soft skin, his warm lips...god, I would give anything to ki- Oh no. Stop the thought. Stop the thought! Do not do this to yourself, Izzy! You do not need a boyfriend. Got that? You. Do. Not. Need. A. Boyfriend. Even if the specific boy you have in mind is sweeter then any other- stop! 

        I decided I should probably do something other than think about Joshua. Even if it was really late at night. Then Grandfather coughed.

        Grandfather...what was going on with grandfather? What was he hiding from me? It almost hurt that he didn't trust me enough to tell me what was going on. I stood up and walked to my door. Opening a creaky door, in an old house, at night, without making any noise is a hard thing to do. But I did it. Hardly.

        I walked to Grandfather's room and opened the door. I stepped inside and Grandfather coughed again. “Grandfather...” I whispered. “Are you okay?”

        “Izzy,” He coughed. “What're you doing awake?”

        “I couldn't sleep.” I walked over to his bed and stood in front of it.

        He coughed again, and then his coughs turned into sobs. I'd never heard Grandfather cry before. I walked around the end of the bed and lifted up the blankets. I crawled under them and faced Grandfather. I couldn't see, but I knew Grandfather was in front of me, and I knew he was crying. That's all I needed.

        “Don't cry.” I whispered. “You'll be okay.”

        I faced away from grandfather and curled up against his stomach. He wrapped his arm around me and one of his tears fell on my cheek.

        “I love you, baby girl. Always remember that.”

        “I know.” I told Grandfather. “I love you, too.”

        Grandfather was shaking silently and I wanted to comfort him, make him stop somehow, but I had already done everything I could. So I stroked his wrinkly hand and fell asleep.

        The last thing I remember was Grandfather coughing.