A Singular Heartbeat

This is for the "Feelings" Contest. I'm just barely making the deadline, so wish me luck, if you like! :D ~Aura

I feel my heart beating
(Are our hearts beating the same?)
I reach out to feel your heart beating
(Can you sense me reaching out?)
But you slip right through my fingers
(Where are you now?)
Through the empty air I fall
(Why aren’t you here to catch me?)
I can’t contact you, be with you at all
(Where are you now?)

You wish my heart was beating
(Was it ever really beating at all?)
You wish to feel that gentle thump again
(Can you pull me from the end?)
You can’t, settling for the device clutched in your fist
(Do you read over and over those last words from me?)
You wish for that device to light up, my name on the screen
(Where am I now?)
You’ll try to find me without succeeding
(Should I be with you now?)


I wish this was the truth
The longing is forceful
But the truth is probably less
Having a wonderful time, where ever he is
Regardless of me
Forgetful of me
He’ll only appreciate me in death

(If then)

Author's Note

Did you get what I did with the parenthesis? Or did you find it weird? Comment please~

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

Edit this with a little word economy in mind and I think you might have a very nice piece.

The parenthesis add a kind of internal dichotomy to your ideas. An artistic expression of self doubt or a willingness to acknowledge the limits of individual perception, is how I take it... it's meta in a good way.