Darker

Succinct power.

Shrouded by the dark
 slipping 'round the lovers' garden
  every snake saw
   its scales wouldn't shine
    in the star-starved night.

Reviews

[Inci 2]

Nice .youve Given a vivid description of the Garden of God or Eden Garden marked by the presence of serpents. Amazing write. Thanks for sharing! may the best win.

[Briana O'Connor]

Short and sweet. The beauty of simplicity is hard to come by, but in this piece you have mastered it quite well. The words flowed elegantly painting pictures in my imagination. thank you for sharing and keep up the good work. Please return the favor by reviewing one of my pieces.

[Beau Maysey]

Nice 's' sounds, going with the snake theme. I like the imagery of "star-starved night", it conjures a starless night so well
And the snake is thus cursed for all eternity; how sad.
Like this poem a lot :)

[Kat Blair]

I don't know if you meant it to, but it makes me think of the garden of Eden. I like

[Aura Inanna]

You nailed it. :) Thank you!