Stream of Consciousness Lovesong

From a disturbing blog I read last night, strangely it was mine, and i hardly remember writing it, only feeling really...

i thought i had loved before i had only grasped reached clasped held out for something anything to share space take up space push back the empty space fill in my empty space i

 

thought i had loved before but i had only needed and necessitated and maintained and kept my mouth shut and grasped reached clapsed held out for walls to close in my something anything keep out the silence push back the silence runout the silence in my empty space i thought

 

i had loved before but i had only coveted that which i thought was supposed to be love but only needed and necessitated and maintained i couldn't keep my mouth shut i had to say nothing loudly had to scream nothing into the silence at bay my empty space to keep the hurt at bay i thought i had

 

loved before you the idea of love loved before you the ideal of love loved before you the dream of filled in spaces shared space warm arms full heart beating back the silence filling in the silence with joyful noise filling in the hurt with silent screams i thought i had loved

 

before i knew i truly loved you i truly loved nothing i felt nothing i desired nothing for i believed there was nothing real there is only endorphins chocolate sex love endorphins only empty space with artificial joy like mannikins standing watch over the silence keeping the shadows at bay a joyful noise unto the lord of hurt and silence screaming i never had a clue there could truly be love and then comes you and now i know for sure i see for sure the empty spaces fill but the room grows wider still i see the hurt never heals but only scabs over scars a memory to be viewed felt tasted screaming in my silence you made me love you made me love you b*****d drain me dry leave me wasted discarded shell unfurled crushed the useless wings of beetles i thought i had loved before...

Reviews

[Alexander W. Quinn]

Wow...a whirlwind road trip through the heart and mind. Your write is pure and honest, driven and (though heart-breakin in theme) very entertaining. I loved everything about it, including the way the stanzas / paraghraphs were broken mid thought. Fantastic read! Thanks for sharing. :)

[Edward Clay]

this feels like a very spontaneous write, almost as if it floweed with what you were feeling, and i know this type of write, as i have done it myself many a time. and the last thing i ever feel needs doing to these types of writes is an edit as it thens takes away that feeling, and that urgency to express almost. and it ends sharply, with a gut feeling in it, quickly and in my opinion perfectly.