Cellotape and cigarette burn stains

A poem about nostalgia, forgetting, and growing up.

There is a jacket in my wardrobe

That I used to wear

But it belonged to him

So now it stays there

Holding onto an illusion of youth

Of wild parties

Of getting wasted

And smoking out the kitchen window

Or off the roof

The fabric bears its scars with pride

Singed across the sleeves

Cigarette burn stains that scream

"I was cool, once -

Now look at me."

There is a pair of glasses

Somewhere in the back of my desk

Cellotaped together

A haphazard mess

They were discarded 

Because I don't use them anymore

Even though I fixed them

They won't help me understand

What I saw

The tape won't hold them together forever

But it'll be a temporary fix

Until someone else comes along,

Teaches me the value of glue

And how to use it.

There are some pieces of me 

That even I don't remember leaving

Like the glow-in-the-dark stars

That spread across the ceiling

Or the box of things I kept

For 'sentimental' reasons

Every postcard, letter, and note

Reaching

To a girl who won't believe them

Maybe one day I'll get the courage to look

And read them all again

To remind that little girl

That we were loved, yes,

Even back then.

But, for now, I'll ignore the claws of nostalgia

As they creep across my skin

Cellotape and cigarette burn stains might hold memories

But they are not pretty things.

Reviews

[MayHeartsYou]

All I had to read was the title to know that I'd relate to this, and I was right. When I was a kid, I went to the optometrist and they said I needed glasses. When I got home with them, I went out to hang out with my friends and they all told me I looked goofy. So I ripped them off my face, stomped them, and never looked back. Now many years later, I've grown up and calmed down and I'm no longer ashamed to be myself (for the most part) and I'm going back to the optometrist in 2 months xD looking back after the fact is really painful sometimes. It's still really difficult to throw away those old sweaters filled with burn holes though. And even if it's painful, sometimes it's important to keep those things as reminders of how far you've come. So long as it doesn't control you.. the burn holes may not be pretty but they are part what got you to today in the first place, ya know?