The Truth

I was bored and a song inspired me. I know I could probably do better but for now, my depressing ramblings will have to do.

Am I real anymore?
Am I me?
Somehow I think its not
In the mirror, yes, I see my face
Those are my lips
Those are my eyes
But this is not me
The darkness beneath those eyes
The foul smell escaping between those lips
She is not me
I am gone
I am lost in the cold
Talking to myself
Reaching for a ghost
Clinging to what has flown away
Aching for the man beneath the grass
That girl is me
I am her
I am the girl who cries
I am the one who sulks
I am her who is broken
I know it's me
I am away, not in my body
Viewing it as if from afar
So surreal
But the pain always seems to follows
Unfortunately
Follows into bed with me
Follows and rips at the nothing
At the space in my chest
I cry and call for him
Begging for and praying for him
My endorphin
But beneath the grass he remains
The breeze hums a tune of despair
And I sing-a-long
I sing till my voice is gone
Hushed by the sobs
Life slapped me
And I try to fight back
My mother wants me to fight back
My father wants me to fight back
My friends, my sisters, they want me to fight back
But my arm is weak
My body is broken
At home, behind the mirror
There's comfort
Its beckoning
It's calling and telling me that I am not ok
I deny it again and again
But his face is all I can think of
His body all I desire
So I swallow comfort
All the comfort
And I know that I am wrong
This is wrong
But I am not alive like this
Without him
It's pathetic really
But the truth sometimes is
And soon am I standing before him
His face perfect
Exactly as I remember
He holds his hand out to me
I wipe the tears
I clasp his in mine
He holds me
And I wrap my arms around love
And we fly
Like doves towards the sky
And in the clouds
I see a gate
It's warm and welcoming
And I know
That beyond the gate
Him and I
Together
The grass will never part us
The earth will never steal him away
And I will again be me
As I am, and can only ever be, his

Author's Note

Opinions are what they are for a reason, I always greatly value hearing anyones. Please, tell me what you think. even if its brief.

Reviews

[Undeadjem]

A frozen moment in life, perfectly captured in a poetic form. Brilliant!

[xlynne]

Thanks undeadjem! ;) Gosh, this poem is so old! I hadn't even graduated high school yet when I made it. I don't feel like it's one of my better ones but thank you for the kinds words. Now I've got to repay the favor. Like the name btw!

[Undeadjem]

Wow, That was a while ago!
Katrina made if for me a little bit ago. lol.

[An owl on the moon]

This was deep, moving with meaningful expression about personal identity... the truth of who one is inside... and I could surely relate... been through this kinda thing before. Your words so powerfully grip us inside. Amazing write!

[holyspirit1]

i read your poem and it really felt like you were talking about my life it was a good poem